• Ann Memmot: "Autism and Christianity" Personal experience. Orthodoxy and autism Angry autistic from the point of view of the bible

    My name is Ann. No one will say that I have “mild autism”, but this does not prevent me from enjoying life and being a Christian at all.

    Many people think that autistic people cannot understand God. Others think we can't go to church. For me, my Christian faith is very important, and the fact that I am part of the church gives me great pleasure.

    How do I believe? I am a regular member of a wonderful church owned by the Church of England, and I also helped start the Methodist Church Group for the Disabled. I don't really understand all the technical stuff about faith because I think in pictures, not words. If I can't imagine what something looks like, then I can't understand it. I get more information and emotions not through words, but through images, textures, touches.

    I don't feel the world the way most people feel it. I can see, hear, smell and taste more vividly than others, it is difficult for me to filter my sensations. This is both bad and good. During the service, I can see more mystique and beauty in the images, music, and texture of the things around me. But if I stay there too long, I can get overwhelmed, especially if there are too many details around that attract attention. I'll end up exhausted and confused about what's going on. It's hard for me to keep this balance, but it's worth it.

    How do I know about God and Jesus? The gospels are of great importance to me. It is important for me to read about what Jesus commanded us to do and what he forbade us to do, although I know that people almost always make mistakes and break these rules. Jesus said that we love God and that we love one another. For me, this is the most important instruction. Jesus said that we should be just, help our neighbors, support them when they need this support. I think a lot of people think that autistic people have a problem with things like that. However, many autistic people are very concerned about social justice They want to make sure that everyone has what they need. I always wanted this, even in my earliest memories, when I donated my pocket money to charity, which surprised my parents very much.

    I believe that we are all created equal, and when we look at another person, we are looking at Jesus. Treat everyone with the respect you have for Jesus. I try to think like that, and I think it's very important. It's hard sometimes, especially when we run into people who are negative about autism and what autistics can bring to the church. But it is very important to love people and pray for them.

    Do I feel that autism is preventing me from following the right religious path? No, because I don't think there is only one right way. God created all of us, and he gave us all his characteristics that allow us to grow and learn. I love telling people about my relationship with faith, and I love learning more about their religious experiences. Some things I never understood as quickly as other people understand them. But I perceive many things in a way that most people cannot perceive them. If we can learn more about each other, it can help make the world a better place. I work with groups that explain our faith to children in schools and junior churches. And I really enjoy talking to young people about these topics.

    How do I pray? I'm just talking to God. I see God as a friend. I'm talking to Jesus. I've never been completely sure what the Holy Spirit is, but that doesn't worry me too much. I think the Holy Spirit is probably everywhere.

    What can an autistic person bring to the church? The same as any other. Service to God. Prayer. Love. Friendship. We have a lot of skills, and they will show themselves if only people will allow us to use them. For example, I know people on the autism spectrum who are great vicars or other church leaders. We can do any job in the church, and our ability to understand systems and pay attention to missing details can be useful in any organization.

    God is good. Even in difficult times, He helped me get through all the obstacles and find the love, support and care that I needed, and I never wanted to give up on Him.

    April 2 is World Autism Awareness Day. For 23 years now, the Center for Curative Pedagogics has been operating in Moscow, where they help special children find their way in life: from diagnosis and early assistance to obtaining a profession and integration into society. The activities of the Center have three directions: medical and pedagogical work with children and support for their families, dissemination of the experience of medical pedagogy and interaction with society. This is very important, because according to official statistics, 340,000 children with disabilities in Russia are deprived of the opportunity to receive education, which means isolation and, in fact, the absence of a future and a chance for a decent life. Over the years of the Center's work, more than 10,000 children and their families have received help here.

    We talked about the Center, its work, staff and children with teachers Ima Yurievna Zakharova and Elena Vladimirovna Antonova.

    - Ima Yuryevna, what tasks were set in 1989, when the Center was organized? Have you wanted to work with children who have different levels of disability?

    - The Center for Curative Pedagogics (in the first months - "Children's Speech Therapy Center") began work on the wave of perestroika.

    In the first year we had about thirty children. Among children with speech therapy problems, children with other disorders gradually began to “intersperse”.

    We considered it important to help those children who came to us and who had nowhere else to go. We began to bring children with learning difficulties at school, with cerebral palsy, we had the first autistic children, and we realized that we would not refuse anyone, but we would try to work. We have different specialists - defectologists, psychologists, psychiatrists, art and music therapists, masseurs and specialists in physical therapy.

    Among the children who have applied to the Center over the years, there are children with genetic syndromes such as Down syndrome, Williams syndrome, Rett syndrome, fragile X syndrome (Martin-Bell syndrome), etc.; children with epilepsy, phenylketonuria, mucopolysaccharidosis, microcephaly, tuberous sclerosis and others.

    Now more than half of the children (about 56%) attending our center are children with autism spectrum disorders. Many children with multiple disabilities. There are children with behavioral disorders, with various speech disorders.

    — Who stood at the origins of the Center for Curative Pedagogics, whose idea was it?

    In the mid-1980s, the future creators of the Center worked in the 6th nursery psychiatric hospital on the so-called logo site, created back in the thirties by Professor V.A. Gilyarovsky for work with stuttering preschoolers. The logo site worked in a semi-stationary mode - in the morning the guys came to classes, and in the evening they returned home. We can say that this was the first example of complex work with a child with problems in our country: psychiatrists, other doctors, as well as teachers and music therapists worked together at the logo site. It was mostly very experienced staff with a lot of professional experience, and a good relationship with children have developed here historically, as the rules of the internal regulations. In 1988, a new head physician came to the 6th hospital, the speech area was transferred to a stationary mode, and the children were offered to be sent to a speech therapy kindergarten.

    But in cases of severe speech problems that require a complex impact, a doctor is needed, but there is none in the speech therapy garden. In a hospital, as a rule, there is no pedagogical correction system, and after the closure of the logo site, there was no place left in Moscow where both could be combined. Some of the children who were studying at the logo site at that moment ended up literally on the street. Several specialists and parents began to look for a way out: there must be a place where these children can be helped so that they go to an ordinary school, “fit in” with ordinary society. I really wanted this place not to be a hospital, where the nosological principle is at the forefront, and the system is more important than the child. And most importantly, the initiative group already had their own ideas about how the most effective assistance could be built. This is how the Center was born.

    Anna Lvovna Bitova started the work of the center (from the very beginning and to the present time - the permanent head of the Center), Irina Larikova came during the first year, then I, Roman Pavlovich and Maria Sergeevna Dimenstein, Nadezhda Lvovna Morgun, Antonina Andreevna Tsyganok and many more wonderful people ; in general, a team of diversified specialists was formed.

    - Basically, we know about autism from the film "Rain Man", where main character, autistic, afraid of flying, must watch TV at the same time, has a phenomenal memory. And what are these people like? real life Does everyone have similar traits?

    “They are all different, each with its own characteristics, showing completely different behavior. Autism can manifest itself as passive avoidance of contact, indifference, lack of reaction to the environment. In other cases, active negative attitude child to contact with people. Such a child, as a rule, is prone to the formation of stereotypes, very painfully endures any changes in his life. There are autistic children who seem to strive for communication, but they are not in dialogue with the world, but as if in a monologue: they tell something about themselves, they talk a lot. They have such a violation of communication - they do not feel the interlocutor, the partner in the game. Some children may have a very strong dependence on one person. In this case, contact with the outside world is carried out only through this person (for example, through the mother). The child lives in constant fear of losing that person. He is very anxious and shy.

    But if you start working with autistic children as early as possible, based on their capabilities and taking into account the characteristics of behavior, you can achieve significant positive changes in their emotional development: they begin to focus on people, imitate their actions, want to communicate, strive for tactile contact, emotional support form relationships with other children.

    They are all terribly different. If you read the memories of autistic people about their lives (some of them have written books about it), you can see how different they are. For example, Temple Grandin (she has Asperger's syndrome, she is the author of the book "Opening the Doors of Hope") is a highly emotional person with a developed imaginative thinking, with a developed speech.

    And if you read, for example, Iris Johansson (Sweden), who became a social worker, her book “Special Childhood” describes a completely different picture of autism: Iris was a deeply autistic child in her childhood, without speech and with very serious behavioral problems.

    But still, one can single out something in common that unites all autistic people (Lorna Wing's triad):

    • - qualitative deterioration in the sphere of social interaction ("loneliness" of an autistic person) without connection with intellectual development;
    • - an extremely poor repertoire of activity and interests (the desire for constancy, resistance to changes in the environment, over-interest in certain objects)
    • - qualitative deterioration in the sphere of verbal and non-verbal communication and imagination (the "lack" of symbolic play) is also out of touch with intellectual development.

    - Are there any features in the diagnosis of early childhood autism?

    - There are things that early childhood, up to a year, you can see, understand that something is wrong in terms of the child’s communication with others, in interaction, in contacts. Special literature describes what you need to look at (for example, the book by E.R. Baenskaya describes the stages of the child’s emotional development in normal and with communication disorders. In principle, every pediatrician can be taught this. It happens that the district doctor does not notice for a long time what - some deviations in the development of the child's interaction with the world. It is difficult for a young, inexperienced mother to notice for herself that the child is very quiet, uncommunicative, does not look at her, does not require her attention. Sometimes it seems that this is even good: such a calm child.

    The very first thing we do with a child is play therapy. Why? Because such a child is closed to contacts with the world, he has a very limited own activity, or it is very unstable, or of the same type. We need to get in touch with him and increase this activity so that he explores the world more actively. Thanks to play therapy, the teacher establishes contact with the child and begins to bring him out of the state of "loneliness", forming selectivity in relationships, attachment to the teacher. Gradually, other activities can be added, but play therapy remains the main method, including performing diagnostic tasks, because. In these classes, the child is revealed, his abilities are manifested.

    - Are there any medicinal methods of treatment that help to rehabilitate such children?

    There are no cures for autism. There are medication correctors of behavior that help if the family does not cope with the behavior of the child at all. We try to work without behavior correctors in order to understand what kind of activity the child really has, what are his problems, especially with young children it is better to work without medication. But parents make their own decisions. Parents of children with autism are sometimes offered to be examined in a children's psychiatric hospital or even treated there for a while. But, for example, in Moscow's 6th hospital, mothers rarely have the opportunity to be there with their children. And such a child is simply catastrophically difficult to be there without the support of loved ones. This situation only exacerbates his problems. For him, this is a huge stress, since mom is usually the only one who understands him, his only connection to the world. We think this is a dead end. In our hospitals, unfortunately, there are problems with medicinal resources: our medicine is far from using the latest developments in pharmacology. Often used what is already outdated. There is also a problem with the human resource - the personnel problem.

    How do you deal with staffing issues?

    - In addition to the staff of all kinds of specialists, volunteers come to us from among students or just people who want to devote part of their lives to children with problems. If a volunteer decides to move further in the direction of work at the Center, he asks to attach him to any teacher and becomes his student. Thus, the experience is transferred "from hand to hand". We have seminars for volunteers and students, where they receive the necessary knowledge and skills. Working with such children is not easy, but teachers see the result, see the real return, see the success of the children, and this helps us a lot.

    — How does your Center interact with the state?

    — We interact differently with different government departments. Some of our programs are funded by government grants. The Department of Social Protection from time to time gives subsidies for children with disabilities, that is, they partially finance courses for these children. Our main form of cooperation with the Moscow Department of Education is the creation of a new type of organization: the opening of integrative kindergartens, the Kovcheg school, etc.

    In 2006, at the initiative of the CLP, Technological College No. 21 created "Special Workshops" for young people with intellectual and mental disabilities. It was the first unit of its kind in Russia in public institution vocational education.

    We provide training for specialists from other organizations, these are paid courses and seminars, due to this, among other things, funds appear for the development of the Center and for its activities. We are not a state center. We constantly have to look for funds for the salaries of employees, rent of premises, utility bills. It is amazing how our Center can exist for such a long time without constant state support. This is a real miracle.

    - Elena Vladimirovna, what is the cause of early childhood autism, what are the reasons?

    - There are many different theories of the origin of autism: biological, psychological, etc. There are many hypotheses, but no single reason that would explain all the variants of development of the autistic type has been identified. It happens that up to two or three years the child develops normally, and then something happens, some kind of “breakdown”, a change. It happens that it begins as a reaction to some kind of vaccination, or an illness, or stressful situation. Children sometimes react in this way to parting with their mother. At the same time, speech may go away, skills fall apart, the child stops responding to others. And sometimes, from the very beginning, development is distorted, and the reasons for this are unclear. We often say that we are not working with a diagnosis, but with a child, his personality. We try to awaken the activity of the child and interest the world of people.

    - What are the treatments?

    - In this case, it is not entirely correct to talk about “methods of treatment”, rather, we can talk about methods of training, education, correction. Properly organized classes for such children are the treatment, this is the meaning of curative pedagogy. We teach a child to live in our world, and do not change the world for him - this is an important difference, in my opinion, from other existing methods of working with autistic children.

    Is it possible to cure autism completely by some methods?

    As a result of working with a child, it often happens that he adapts to life, while remaining very original. But there are many peculiar people who have never had autism. So you can look at it differently.

    - When a mother comes to you with a child, what is your plan of action, how is the nature of classes with him determined?

    - There is an initial consultation, at which two specialists get to know the child: one talks to the mother, the other at this time plays with the child, watches him. After that, its further path is determined. We can recommend some other centers: for some children (for example, children with Down syndrome), wonderful places for classes have appeared in Moscow. If, together with the parents, a decision is made about classes with us, then the child, as a rule, begins to study individually. First, the teacher establishes emotional contact with the child, a trusting relationship develops between them. The duration of such classes is different for different children: from a month to a year. There are children who study individually throughout the year, and so far we cannot introduce them to the group, because they have not yet adapted. We can add other individual sessions, for example, music therapy, if necessary, a speech therapist, speech pathologist or movement therapist. When the child is sufficiently prepared, you can introduce classes in a mini-group.

    Further, since we are focused on preparing for school, we offer group classes as a model of society. During classes with children, classes are held in parallel with parents, the so-called "parent groups". We try to provide all kinds of support for parents: psychological, informational, legal, we discuss issues of education and upbringing of children, problems of child-parent relationships. Parental groups are also self-support groups, where moms and dads help each other by sharing their experience, their experiences.

    — Does your Center have a school for children with developmental disabilities?

    - There is no school directly at the Center, the Center prepares children for school, makes their subsequent education possible. It happens like this: a group of children graduate from our Center, but there is no school suitable for these children. Then we offer, for example, such an option - parents and teachers go to a regular school and offer to create a class for our graduates. In such cases, our teacher works with the children, or the school prepares its own teacher to work with such a class. For example, in school No. 169 there are already several classes where our teachers work. This is an experimental site of MIOO (Moscow Institute of Open Education). It is possible that some of these children in middle and high school will be able to go to regular classes, we hope so. The staff of the Center, together with the parent association "Road to the World", created a school for children with multiple disabilities, they are now working as a group within the state center for psychological, medical and social support. Many such examples can be cited.

    - How did the idea of ​​creating summer camp where parents with children and teachers go and live together in nature in tents? What is the purpose of this direction of your activity?

    - Since 1997, we began to go to the forest every summer for 2-3 weeks, lived in tents, cooked on a fire, sang songs until the morning. The founders of the center themselves liked to go hiking and suggested this to their parents. And so it was for a long time, until 2003. Now we have a stationary camp in Valdai, where teachers with children and parents continue to go every year.

    - And during the rest in the camp, educational classes continue?

    Yes, but in a slightly different way. We believe that living together in new, unusual conditions is therapeutic in the camp. These are quite busy days not only for children, but also for their parents, many of whom have never gone hiking and only rested by the sea. For them, in a sense, this is “extreme”, a kind of mobilization takes place: both physical and, above all, mental strength. Many children experience very strong changes in the camp. For example, often children begin to eat what they previously categorically refused. There are common, joint meals at certain times, and we ask parents not to feed their children between them in tents.

    In the camp, it is easier to establish partnerships between teachers and parents. We are all on duty in the kitchen together, we basically do not have a professional chef. The team, which consists of parents, teachers, brothers and sisters of our pupils, is often headed by someone's mother and everyone obeys her, even the shift supervisor.

    - You have a project "social village" Danilkovo "", in which your grown-up pupils could live. How did it appear, why do we need such villages?

    “The entire civilized world has long abandoned the system of prison-type boarding schools, which, unfortunately, still exist in our country – without education, without genuine human attachments, without a chance to get out of there in “ Big world". All effective forms of living for people with disabilities model either a family or a community (extended family) - both in cities and in rural areas. These can be apartments where social educators help the children to live and manage the household. Or settlements in which life is built according to the communal type. These are the famous “Arks” by Jean Vanier, “Camphill” villages, etc. There are also 4 such settlements in Russia - “Svetlana” in Leningrad region, two more in the Irkutsk region and one in Buryatia. Our project is currently initial stage– there is a small piece of land, there is an architectural concept, a foundation has been registered “ life path”, and there is a small initiative group of enthusiasts. We believe that every person has the right to a decent life, every person is an individual, and we hope to realize these beliefs in the social village project.

    - And our state has only one model - a boarding school?

    “Unfortunately, so far. I myself have experience of working in a state institution - it was called "Institution of Boarding Type", I have something to compare with. Something incomprehensible is happening there - good, kind people, having got into such a place, become at best indifferent, often cruel, evil, lose human face. The system dominates the people working there.

    — Didn't the state authorities offer to allocate land, at least on a gratuitous lease, for such settlements?

    Not in our case. But our project is being implemented in cooperation with the Ministry of Social Protection of the Moscow Region. An agreement was reached that the ministry would participate in the financing of the village on the basis of a social contract. We also hope that the functioning of the social village will be carried out with the financing of medical, social and psychological and pedagogical services by the relevant state structures, with the financial support of commercial and charitable structures.

    How did you personally choose this profession?

    - It happened by accident, I came to the CLP for a consultation with my son when he was five years old. We heard on the radio that there is such a place, and decided to apply here, because my son had problems in the speech therapy garden: they complained about his behavior. Most likely, he had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), then, however, there was no such diagnosis yet, they simply told me: “You have a disinhibited child, he interferes with us!”. When we came to the center, they told me: “You have a great child!” We liked it here so much that we couldn't leave. After some time, I began to work here, went to study, received a second, special education. The son grew up and has already graduated from the pedagogical institute.

    — Did your students ever surprise you: did they cheat, did something funny?

    - There are many such cases. Children are cunning all the time, sometimes they deceive us, for example, in order not to do something. Something fun happens every day.

    Interpretation of the book of Ezekiel.
    Ezekiel 18:2. Why do you use this proverb in the land of Israel, saying: "The fathers ate sour grapes, but the children's teeth are set on edge"?
    "The fathers ate sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge." The same proverb is mentioned by the prophet Jeremiah (Jer 31:29; cf. Lamentations 5:7). Unripe grapes are now eaten in vast quantities in Syria; (Delitzsch, Hiob XV, 33). The soreness appears immediately after eating sour berries and soon passes: therefore it is completely impossible to assume that it was transmitted from fathers to children (adductio ad absurdum). Meanwhile, according to the opinion of the Jews of that time, expressed in this proverb, the actions of Jehovah, punishing them with real calamities of Judah for the sins of their fathers, resembles the hereditary transmission of soreness. It is easy to guess how this proverb could have arisen, from which it emanates doubt in the truth of God and the self-exaltation of descendants over their ancestors. The proverb had visible grounds for itself in Holy Scripture: God tells Moses that He punishes children for the guilt of their fathers up to the third and fourth generation (Exodus 20.5; Lev. construction can be attributed to both children and fathers). And now the 3rd and 4th kind from the wicked Manasseh (Joahaz, Jehoiachin, Zedekiah - the grandchildren and great-grandchildren of Manasseh) are punished. Even Josiah, despite his piety, finds a sad end in the battle of Megiddo. And the prophets proclaimed that for the sins of Manasseh the Lord would reject Judas from His face (2 Kings 24:3; Jer 15:4); since the time of Manasseh, indeed, Judah had been getting worse and worse, despite some efforts to propitiate Jehovah (cf. Jer 44.18:14.20, 18.12).
    Ezekiel 18:3. I live! says the Lord God, they will not speak this proverb in Israel ahead.
    “I live” - the oath testifies to the importance of the subject: it is about the honor of the name of God. - "They will not speak this proverb in Israel ahead" (!!!). God will convince by His judgments of the truth of His world government. The prophet Jeremiah promises the destruction of this proverb only in the days of the new covenant (Jer 31.29:31).
    Ezekiel 18:4. For behold, all souls are Mine; as the soul of the father, so the soul of the son is Mine; the soul that sins, it shall die.
    "All souls are Mine." Consequently, it does not seem necessary for God to take revenge on one sin of another: He can always punish the sins of everyone and on the very culprit of them (!!!). “The self-worth of the human soul is expressed here as never before: each soul belongs to God, that is, God stands in the same relation to each soul and treats it as it treats him” (Bert.). “The soul that sins, it will die.” See explanation. Ezekiel 3.18. Death is the opposite of the life promised to the righteous in v. 9 (see there), therefore, signifies chiefly perdition in the coming catastrophe; and the associated exclusion from the future messianic kingdom. Here, for the first time in V. Z., we are talking about spiritual death, but by soul it is rather understood as a person in general, a living person.
    added: 5 Oct 2015

    “You say, ‘Why does a son not bear the guilt of his father? Because the son acts lawfully and righteously, he observes all My statutes and fulfills them; he will be alive. The soul that sins, it will die, the son will not bear the guilt of the father, and the father will not bear the guilt of the son, the righteousness of the righteous remains with him, and the iniquity of the lawless with him remains ... I will judge ... everyone according to his ways, says the Lord God ”(Ezek. 18. 19-30).

    added: 5 Oct 2015

    In relation to Christ, all tribal ties play no role, because God is our Creator, God is our Father, and we are all His children. Therefore, we are brothers and sisters in Christ. Apostle Paul: “For you are all sons of God by faith in Christ Jesus; All of you who were baptized in Christ have put on Christ. There is no longer a Jew, nor a Gentile; there is no slave nor free; there is no male or female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:26-28).

    "This is your salvation!"

    How to live with a child diagnosed with autism? How to take it? Is the life of such families really a continuous tragedy, cross or punishment (as many people who are not familiar with autism think)?

    - In our case, everything began to manifest itself before the year: the child lagged behind in development, demonstrated unusual behavior general health deteriorated. But this became clearly noticeable in the second year of life, when we realized that the child would not “grow out”, as experts told us. Unfortunately, our health care system for monitoring a small child is built in such a way that at this stage doctors are not yet sounding the alarm, mechanisms to help such children (from one to two years old) are not connected. Only by the age of three parents are announced the diagnosis, when it is practically formed, and enhanced rehabilitation begins, but the prognosis worsens.

    How to live with such a child? - Very simple. This is not a tragedy, not a cross and not an event after which life immediately goes downhill. It all depends on how people perceive their fate: if they accept what is happening to them and are ready for everything new, then the appearance of such a child is another opportunity to open some kind of door in life.

    There are a number of related areas that you learn, you get to know new interesting people. Of course, this does not happen without loss, but if you are ready for a new life, then you quickly accept this situation.

    When we first heard the diagnosis, we were told this: your child will have developmental delay or mental retardation at best, autism at worst. I used to read about autism, I was interested in this problem, and I didn’t understand why there would be autism in the “worst case”, but my husband and I were definitely scared at first, there was some shock. Autism was diagnosed in a daughter, our second child (four children in total). We had bright plans for several years ahead, and now we are being told that everything is bad with you and will be even worse. And we began to look for ways out - it took months and years: trying to help our child and others with a similar problem, research activities and trying to teach society to accept people with autism.

    It turned out that there are more and more such children, parents, as a rule, have a hard time accepting the condition of their child, society is initially not ready to contact autistic people, there is practically no more or less intelligible system of assistance.

    Olga Povoroznyuk:

    - Everyone has different stories, on the one hand, but on the other hand, they are quite typical. I have a second child diagnosed with autism, a 13-year-old boy.

    By the age of one, you begin to expect communication skills, flashes of intelligence from the child, what we are used to with the first child (the age difference is small). We all waited for that, but by the age of one we realized that our son was behaving somehow strangely: he was looking either at you, or through you, it was impossible to catch a glance, there was no speech. The word "autism" I first heard in the summer of 2004 from my husband. He started typing our symptoms into an Internet search and said, “You know, it looks like we have autism.” The child was then one and a half years old.

    Psychiatric care at this age is not provided at all, from the age of four only an examination by a psychiatrist, so at that moment we were only at the neurologist, who confirmed our assumptions. Neurological drugs were offered and nothing more. At the age of two, we had a tomography and, on our own initiative, went to a psychiatrist.

    Some doctors absolutely do not feel sorry for their parents - and this is bad: even speaking the truth, one must do it tactfully. And some (either from indifference or from unprofessionalism) inspire hope so much that “everything is fine with you”, that because of this, a whole period of time is lost in inaction.

    Our option was the second: we were told that everything is fine with us, it’s just that the child has disharmonious development (although, as I later realized, this is one of the signs of our disease: when simple things are not given to the child, but some complex things, unusual for this age, the child does easily). For example, at the age of two, our son was already working well on the computer, although he had not yet spoken at all, there was no dialogue with him. And they told me that I have excessive demands on the child, I must calm down, everything is in order with us. Of course, like any mother, I was delighted to hear this. But six months later I realized that something had to be done. At the age of about four years, we went to the hospital, and there we were diagnosed with early childhood autism. I asked: “What to do next?” And I was honestly answered that there is no help system.

    And then this question arose: how to live with such a child? Now I understand this: the fewer questions you ask, the easier it is. But the process of this realization is very complex, it has its own stages, and they are the same for everyone. And the first stage for me - yes, it was a tragedy, because no prospects were visible. And I went into depression, because my husband is at work, the eldest child is in kindergarten, I am alone with the youngest, he does not communicate, and you serve him all day and think, think about him, and by the evening the brains are boiling.

    This period of acceptance is different for everyone in duration and intensity. I can’t say that I have accepted this situation even now. Unfortunately, I realized late that I had to do something myself - I was waiting for someone to give me an algorithm of actions. And I, like many parents, was terribly indignant that this was not the case. And then I realized that we need to help ourselves: if not us, then who will do it? It is we who are motivated to create this system of help, a system of rapid response at a time when everything is still plastic, when there is the greatest chance to make adjustments.

    Americans came to our city, who, however, are dealing with a different disease, and so they told us: “You are now planting and cultivating a tree, the fruits from which your children may no longer get, but still this is a big deal.” We do not know what kind of children our children will have, what great-grandchildren will be, so if you do not have this problem now, but you can help solve it, then this must be done.

    As for what some call life with an autistic child a cross or a punishment: I like the words of one priest who told me: “You don’t even understand what a gift God has given you: this is your salvation! He will save you here." If you were given such a child, it means that you are able to raise him, help him. That is, to have such a child is an honor.

    - We constantly communicate with parents and see that an adult can be considered the person next to whom such a special child can calmly and serenely exist, unable to stand up for himself, really realize where he is, unable to plan his future. If this is possible, then you are an adult and are not in vain trampling the ground.

    I, like Olga, believe that it is wrong to call it a cross or a punishment, because people who are waiting for punishment for something think so.

    – I read one story where parents came to Israel with an autistic child, and there, at the embassy, ​​they were congratulated with a smile that they had such a child. And the author of this story writes that she has never encountered such a thing in Russia. Why do we have a wary attitude, and parents take their fate very hard?

    – Because parents who have a child with a disability do not have sufficient support either from the state or from society. There is no adequate system of assistance to people with mental disorders and their families. A mental disorder is not the same as a physical one. If, for example, a leg is torn off, then over time, a slow but sure process of rehabilitation begins, and in case of a mental disorder, the entire body, the entire nervous system everything that makes a child human. The further the child grows, the more problems are added - like a snowball, if left unchecked. The disease itself cannot be cured, but some of the problems that accompany this mental illness can be solved. There is no such system of assistance, it is only in its infancy.

    Therefore, in a family where such a child appears, a “black hole” arises that absorbs all resources: material (because commercial medical care is very expensive now), mental (because parents are very worried), temporary s That is, labor - the balance of power in the family is completely changing. Intra-family resources are quickly depleted, unless the family is able to rebuild (and this rarely happens, because the family is not initially ready that they will have a disabled child). This affects relatives, the whole environment: a kindergarten, a school where they try to attach such a child - a problematic focus is formed.

    - Doctors are starting to look for the cause in genetics, in parents: didn’t you drink? Thus, parents are indirectly blamed - and many parents are ashamed that they have such a child. Many shock: why me?! And many hide the fact that they have such a child. Only recently some famous people began to discover that they have children (often already adults or teenagers) with autism or Down syndrome - something has changed in society, it is starting to change. And it pleases.

    The state exists in order to be social protection. Now we are taking on its functions, but we want the state to fulfill its obligations.

    "Thank you film producer!"

    - Have you personally encountered an unpleasant, hurting attitude towards yourself and your children from those around you?

    - I probably belong to the category of mothers who are lucky. When Yegor was three or four years old, it happened like this: they say, “the child needs to be raised” - literally a couple of times. But from other families, I know a lot of blatantly tactless, incorrect cases of moral ugliness shown in relation to their children with mental disabilities. Such people have always existed. “You can’t explain to a fool, but a smart one will understand.”

    But for me it's still a test when I walk with a child. Maybe there were no negative cases, because something like that is written on my face.

    - We know how to build a defense - not everyone can do it.

    - My child is always in sight, I keep him in mind: I know where he went, what he does.

    Negative situations are sometimes provoked by the parents themselves or those accompanying them. Therefore, I try to always keep the situation under control so as not to provoke others. Because of this, there is a constant internal tension. My husband goes for a walk with his son quite calmly - although, perhaps, he simply does not show his attitude.

    “But it didn’t start like this: when my daughter was little, before I left the entrance, I inhaled and exhaled several times, and immediately went to the playground, to the swing, to the sandbox to all the other children. Of course, the child behaves unusually, but the mother completely takes over the function of control: the mother knows what to do, knows how to prevent unwanted forms of his behavior. Over time, she learns to do something such that one day she goes out with the child quite calmly: she is ready, the child is ready - and society begins to change.

    - What is the “strange behavior” manifested in: for example, recently we went to the cinema with my husband and Yegor. My son wanted to see this film for a long time, and I saw what motivation is in its purest form: in the morning everything was done quickly and without problems, the first time. During the film, he kept squeezing my hand, because he was overwhelmed with emotions, whispered - he tried to comment on everything that was happening. And after the movie we leave, and I ask:

    - Egor, are you happy?

    He exhales:

    - Yes! I must say thank you to the film producer!

    At first I did not understand what he was talking about - well, I must have seen this word somewhere. We go out to the box office, there is a guy from whom we bought tickets. And Yegor suddenly comes up to him:

    - Thank you very much!

    And the guy's eyes become big ... Of course, he was confused and said nothing.

    - My nine-year-old daughter in a cafe goes straight to the waiter and says: “Aunt, give me a salad!” Can cuddle, take the hand and try to kiss. People usually look inquiringly at their parents: if we look serene and say Right words(I usually say, “She doesn’t understand”), then they relax too.

    I don't burden people with explanations about our diagnosis: enough in simple words make it clear that the child's unusual behavior is under the control of the parents, that everything is in order.

    And our organizations are doing this: they are trying to explain to society that there are such people with such diagnoses, we know what needs to be done, and we need a little: not to condemn us, to understand that our children will not interfere with anyone, they will not harm.

    The load crushes the man

    – What is the role of a father in a family where there is a child with a mental disorder? Statistics, especially Soviet statistics, say that in most cases the father left the family. What is the situation now?

    - The father is still the head of the family, and the main burden is on him. Men are more worried, because the Soviet system of education laid in them: men should not cry, they are responsible for everything, they protect. The load presses down on a man - they get the most.

    Indeed, now men more often stay in families - and not only in those where there is a disabled child.

    - My husband showed himself so steadfastly that I, in caring for the child, did not even think how hard it was for him. I had no thoughts that my husband could leave - he loves his son very much. When I had depressive failures, it was my husband who reassured me, saying: “But I’m sure that we will still be proud of him.” The husband takes an active part in the education of his son, accompanies him in some lessons.

    But, of course, I know many families where an autistic child is raised by a woman alone.

    – Brothers and sisters: how do they live with such an autistic child, how do they interact? Do parents have to build relationships between children or does everything happen by itself?

    “Several books could be written about this, several social studies could be done. For a child with a disability, this is definitely good. He gets the whole set at once happy childhood which many lack. He receives powerful support from the family, receives a set of social roles that he can equal - the adaptive potential is launched, this helps him to integrate into the social relations in which he will have to function in the future.

    For brothers and sisters, this is, of course, difficult. They face all the problems that adults have: disapproval of others, condemnation, material problems, emotional problems - tension, parental fatigue. But I would not consider this a punishment or a punishment: we are all from birth placed in different conditions everyone must overcome them.

    When a special child grows up in a large family, this is a powerful rehabilitation factor for parents: they do not get hung up only on this child, as they would if he was alone.

    Brothers and sisters, when they are small, do not think that one of them is not like that, they just play with each other - they pull themselves together together, get the necessary experience, grow up as prepared people. (I also had a thesis on this topic: “Rehabilitation of a disabled child in a large family.”)

    - Today's teenagers (judging by my daughter, who will soon be 16) have a different attitude towards the presence of a special child in the family. If I tried to dispense information about my son in society (it’s no secret that people often perceive him as a “fool”), then my daughter’s friends and classmates know about her brother. It didn't even occur to her that he should be embarrassed. She invites friends home, and Yegor can behave strangely: he runs out - new people have come! He knocks on the door, asking to be let in. And the daughter normally treats everything as if she were an ordinary brother. I quietly leave them alone at home since she was eight years old, no problems arise.

    Foundation, "School of Parents", "Resource Class" - what are they for?

    “Our foundation is trying to help the family at an early stage. We are trying to ensure that parents become full-fledged participants in the rehabilitation and adaptation of the child. We think about how to help older children in vocational guidance, arrange their independent or accompanied living. We communicate with relevant organizations, ministries, which react quite vividly to our problems, support us, which gives us hope that our children will still live their lives with dignity.

    We invite parents to our "School of Special Parents": we tell what is happening with their child, why it is happening, what forms of assistance exist today, we provide psychotherapeutic assistance, we consult ...

    - When parents have young children, they still hope for a full rehabilitation, they believe in the possibility of bringing the child back to normal, so they are engaged in various commercial structures. And they come to us with teenagers and adults who are already over 20.

    "DORIDA" is a Voluntary Society of Parents and Children with Autism. We worked on a whim, without any "business plan". And now I sit down and think: what do I need? If I need it, then other parents probably do too.

    An important layer of our work is socio-cultural rehabilitation. We arrange cultural and leisure events, cooperate with the Youth Theater, Cultural Centers, and various artists. Every month we go to the cinema, visit the temple.

    DORIDA and friends. Olga and Yegor Povoroznyuk - bottom row, far left

    For example, we visit Gosfilmofond, they provide us with a whole hall. This is necessary so that the child finds himself in a new situation - it is created habitat to develop behavioral skills. My son and I go to the cinema, but we still try to go to an early screening, when there are fewer people, so as not to disturb them, because my son likes to comment on the film aloud. And when we are provided with a hall, mothers can relax and calmly explain to their child the rules of behavior in the cinema.

    – Our organizations are jointly working on the “Resource Class” project, in a school with a wonderful director. Since September of this year, several children with autism have already started learning in a special environment. There will be a separate program and support for such children. World practice shows that most of the autistic children in such a special environment can get an education in order to subsequently function in society independently. We started this joint project a year ago, we are the first in Yekaterinburg to move this process forward.

    The resource class is such a resource of opportunities, not only for children with autism, but also for training young professionals: they learn to work with the vast majority of disorders in the mental development and behavior of children. This school with a resource class will become an internship platform where young professionals will have an internship. According to WHO, up to 30% of children in the world have mental or mental developmental disorders, so this experience for teachers and parents will be of great help.

    From September 1, 2016, each school or kindergarten must have adaptive learning programs, that is, a parent can come with their child to any kindergarten, any school, and they must build the educational process there as the child needs. Therefore, where a center like ours appears, both children and specialists ready to work with such children appear there.

    – Today, the resource class is the only possible way for our children to exist in schools. We have playgrounds not only in correctional schools, but also in secondary schools: personally, for example, I can go to a school according to my residence permit and leave my Egor there, and they don’t have the right to refuse me.

    It is very important to make it clear to the parents of other children that a special child is not a disadvantage for learning, since he is under the supervision of an adult tutor. And talk about the pluses: the presence of special children among neurotypicals contributes to the development of those moral qualities and values ​​that make a person a person.

    Therefore, if parents want their children to be more tolerant, merciful, to gain additional life experience, then inclusion is the most suitable situation.

    - And when the parents themselves become old and sick, then their children will be next to them, who already have experience of communicating with those who need help, on whom you can rely.

    Sometimes parents with autistic children are asked to leave the temple

    - Why do your children attend the temple in the city of Berezovsky (a suburb of Yekaterinburg - ed.)? Why not any other? It would seem that believers should be tolerant of special children?

    – This is such a stereotype: “believers should”. People, even believers, are all different, there have been cases when parents with autistic children were asked to leave the temple. So we decided not to train our nerves. God brought us to the church of the martyr John the Warrior in the city of Berezovsky. There they organized adapted services for us - these services are shorter, after we are always invited to the refectory: for many of our children this is a particularly pleasant moment, they are waiting for it. We communicate with the priest there, among ourselves.

    Of course, not all children understand what they are doing there, what kind of place it is, but here great importance has a mother's condition. I myself confessed for the first time two months ago in this church, it was difficult for me, I was not a church person, but thanks to this cooperation I began to go regularly with my child and with my husband - this unites. You can’t tell everything to your mother or husband, but there are things that oppress you - we already have several mothers who constantly go and confess, and take communion. I think they need it.

    Ordinary parishioners also come to these services, they know about the peculiarities of our children. Father Vadim Zhurilin works with us: when April 2 was the day for the dissemination of information about autism, he held conversations with parishioners on this topic, our leaflets about the disease were quickly distributed among the parishioners. And now the attitude towards us is different: the mothers have relaxed, because the parishioners are used to our children, and I think that when they leave the church, they will endure this tolerant attitude towards the child they see in the store, on the bus, they will tell about it at home. And it diverges like a wave from a pebble thrown into the water, and the attitude in society changes.

    Changes in society begin with the family: when the parents themselves accept their child not as an outcast, not as sick, but as a child with special needs, but no worse than others, then changes will begin in society. And visiting the temple contributes to this - they don’t condemn there, they give spiritual support: you are not guilty of anything, what is the punishment? - this is your salvation!

    - I appeal to all parents who have children diagnosed with autism: come to us, unite with each other, get involved in this work to create a system to help such children - and you will not have time for depression, you will always be busy with interesting work everything will change around you!

    Login with uID

    Autism: what is it and how to help a child?

    About this disease 20-25 years ago they spoke as a very rare one. I remember that when studying a defectology course, the teacher said to him: “We will not pay much attention to this diagnosis, because if you come across 1-2 cases in your practice, then this will be too many, and in general it is unlikely.” Indeed, until the early 2000s, this was the case. However, subsequently the number of children with this pathology began to increase rapidly, and this trend continues to this day.

    What is this disease? Autism, early childhood autism (RAA), autistic disorder - these are its names. IN last years Autistic disorders began to be grouped under the acronym ASD - Autism Spectrum Disorders. Among autistic disorders there is strictly autism (Kanner, Asperger's, Rett's, atypical), as well as autistic behavior.

    With the most cursory review of open sources on the Internet, you will find out that back in 2000 it was believed that the prevalence of autism was between 5 and 26 cases per 10,000 child population. In 2005, there was an average of one case of autism per 250-300 newborns: this is more often than isolated deafness and blindness combined, Down syndrome, diabetes or childhood cancers. According to World Organization autism, in 2008, 1 case of autism occurs in 150 children. In ten years, the number of children with autism has increased 10 times. It is believed that the upward trend will continue in the future.

    To date, there are 6,000,000 officially registered autistic people in the world. Only in central Russia more 200 000 children diagnosed with RDA (this is given the fact that there are no official statistics of the disease, and most of the children have diagnoses of "Mental retardation" or "Children's schizophrenia"). Most children with autism do not have speech, there are deviations in the development of motor skills, attention, perception, emotional and other areas of the psyche. More than 80% of children with autism are disabled.

    The problem has assumed such a global dimension that in 2008 the UN General Assembly declared April 2 World Autism Awareness Day.

    Autism as an independent disorder was first described by L. Kanner in 1942, in 1943 similar disorders in older children were described by G. Asperger, and in 1947 by S. S. Mnukhin. This is a severe violation of mental development, in which, first of all, the ability to communicate and social interaction suffers. Modern science cannot unequivocally answer the question of the causes of autism. There are suggestions that it can be caused by infections during pregnancy, difficult or improperly performed childbirth, vaccinations, traumatic situations in the early childhood etc.

    The behavior of children with autism is characterized by pronounced stereotypy (from repeated repetition of elementary movements, such as shaking hands or bouncing, to complex rituals) and often destructiveness (aggression, self-harm, screaming, negativism, etc.). The exceptional diversity of the range of disorders and their severity makes it possible to reasonably consider the education and upbringing of children with autism as the most difficult section of correctional pedagogy. Experts know that with the same diagnosis, the approach to each child suffering from such a disease should be strictly individual. Methods that are effective in one case can give exactly the opposite result in another.

    A lot depends on the severity of the disorder. In the most severe cases, even with the most successful work, it is only possible to achieve adaptation to the conditions of life in the family (the ability to wash, dress, cook, clean the apartment), and sometimes this becomes no less difficult than preparing a child for school. The point is not only that in the most severe cases, the issue of education in the traditional sense for all may not arise. unevenness general development with autism, and the wrong approach to education (to a greater extent) often makes such a child a kind of “smart uselessness”: he, at least formally, learns the school curriculum, but can neither go somewhere on his own, nor cook himself food, because none of the existing school programs does not mean "learning for life". It happens that the owner of a school certificate or even a university diploma experiences great difficulties with how to apply this knowledge.

    Correctional work with any child, and even more so with a sick child, will be more successful if it is carried out comprehensively by a group of specialists - a psychiatrist, neurologist, psychologist, speech therapist, music worker and parents. But only on one condition: the work of specialists and parents should take place according to one program.

    Knowing what medicines and for what purpose the child is prescribed, teachers and psychologists together with parents can purposefully monitor him, inform the doctor about positive or negative changes in the child's behavior, so that he, if necessary, corrects the course of treatment.

    Educators and psychologists work together to achieve a common goal: to help the child adapt to kindergarten or school. Together they develop an individual program for the development of the child. The teacher sets specific educational tasks, and the psychologist, relying on general patterns development of children, helps to solve emerging problems. In any case, comprehensive care for children and adults with autism should include psychological support for all family members.

    There are many myths associated with autism - for example, that people with autism, for the most part, have outstanding abilities in certain areas. But not every person with autism has any extraordinary gift or is a genius, for example, in the field of mathematics or music: these are ordinary people - the same as everyone else, but with autism.

    There is a myth that people with autism do not have any emotions. But this is not true: they experience feelings of happiness, love, sadness just like everyone else. And that they can't express their feelings the way they express them healthy people doesn't mean they don't have any emotions at all. They also know how to feel, only in their own way.

    Children with autism need to be taught how to communicate and interact with other people. This not an easy task and it includes the work of the whole family as well as professionals. Parents of a child with autism should be constantly informed about new treatments and remain open. Some treatments are suitable for some patients but not for others. Decisions about treatment are always made on an individual basis after careful evaluation, and the criterion should be how appropriate the treatment is for both the child and the family.

    It is important to remember that autism is a condition that requires constant corrective action. The program of correction can change with the development of the individual. Families should beware of treatment programs that give false hope of complete recovery.

    Remember: autism cannot be cured! Only early diagnosis and long-term qualified pedagogical support can help a child with autism.

    In our city, families with children with autism can get help in the department of psychological and pedagogical assistance rehabilitation center"Rainbow", located at the address: Klin, st. Tolstoy, d. 2; tel. 2-82-51, 2-15-33.

    Director of the Klin Rehabilitation Center "Rainbow"
    for children and adolescents with disabilities
    A. A. Lazortseva

    Parallel Worlds…
    Author: Irina Filippova
    The birth of a child with disabilities helps to reconsider your outlook on life, makes you think: why do you live, what will you pass on. After all, it is no secret to anyone that any ambitious parental plans are connected with the child. It happens that the child has not yet been born, and the mother is already thinking: I will give him there and there, and he will play the violin and perform on stage. And suddenly, once - a child with Down syndrome is born, and the end of all ambitious plans ...

    How can you help your child overcome shyness?
    Author: Tatyana Shishova
    First of all, we must try to understand why the child is shy. And in general, is it shyness? Or maybe the child is immersed in his own world and the society of other children, and he doesn’t really need it? (This is called autism, and there is a special discussion about it). Often shy children, avoiding adults, do well, although maybe not very quickly, find contact with other children. But there are boys and girls who have a serious barrier when communicating with their peers.

    Reprinting on the Internet is permitted only if there is an active link to the "ORTHODOX WEDGE" website.
    Reprint of site materials in printed publications(books, press) is allowed only if the source and author of the publication are indicated.

    mental health of the child. Conversation with an Orthodox doctor

    Orthodox women's magazine "Slavyanka", No. 10, July-August 2007.

    - Dmitry Alexandrovich, why do children have mental disorders?

    There are a lot of reasons and provoking factors. Fortunately, the child's psyche has significant recovery reserves to help cope with a variety of stressful factors. Therefore, many forms of mental disorders go away in a child on their own, without treatment. However, there are disorders that, if not treated on time, can degenerate into persistent character anomalies, and in last resort- severe mental illness.

    In the origin of neurotic reactions in children, most authors emphasize the negative role of improper upbringing. A well-known specialist in childhood neuroses, Professor Alexander Ivanovich Zakharov, highlights the following aspects of it:

  • The demands of parents exceed the capabilities and needs of children.
  • Rejection of children by parents, expressed by an irritable-impatient attitude, frequent censures, threats and physical punishments, lack of necessary tenderness and affection.
  • An inconsistent approach to parenting, which is manifested by a contrasting combination of strict restrictions and prohibitions in one parent and an indulgent-permissive attitude in the other.
  • The inconsistency of education, its unevenness and inconsistency.
  • Instability in dealing with children: increased tone, screaming, general emotional unevenness.
  • Anxiety, constant anxiety about the child, the presence of unnecessary fears and protections.
  • Thus, it becomes clear that psychological problems and mental deviations in a child are largely associated with incorrect methods of education.

    Manifestations of childhood neurosis are varied: emotional instability and hypersensitivity, tearfulness, easily changing mood, capriciousness, excitability, difficulty falling asleep, restless sleep, fears, sucking fingers, biting nails and the skin around them, stuttering, enuresis, nervous tics. Each age has its own symptoms.

    Very often, neurotic manifestations in children are found in the form somatic (bodily) complaints and ailments- for example, the temperature rises, abdominal pains, headaches and the like appear, which often indicates a child's mental distress. Often, in response to adverse psycho-emotional circumstances, children can develop various diseases.

    I'll give you an example. A grandmother came to the reception about her nine-year-old granddaughter. Her parents often quarreled, scandalized and finally divorced, her father left the family. Against this background, the girl developed bronchial asthma, and neither allergies nor changes in broncho-pulmonary tissue were detected, the fact of frequent colds was not established. It turned out that this is a neurogenic variant of asthma, that is, the cause of asthmatic attacks was a neurotic conflict. In other words, the cry of the child's soul burst into the light in the disease.

    Another feature of childhood nervousness (neurotic, psychopathic) are behavioral disorders. Some children run away from home, skip school, others start smoking, try alcohol. Most of these guys are drawn into the street and brought up in their own way. Who is to blame? Parents. We must love our children, educate, pray for them. Improving the mental state of the child largely depends on the parents, their spirituality, relationships with each other, on what they will be able to create an atmosphere in the house.

    Many modern families, living on their own and rejecting God's help, experience instability, various kinds of psychological and moral problems. These disruptions are fraught with scandals, and often end in divorce. How does this affect children?

    A troubled family is a supplier of neurosis, illness, drunkenness, and now drug addiction.

    But even in those families where things are better, spouses often do not know who to be the leader in the house, in the name of what to raise children and what to strive for. It hurts to see how irritation with each other, anger, dissatisfaction with life accumulate between spouses. Marital fidelity, Christian family structure, examples of pious family life for a considerable part of people - only remnants of the past, archaism. Dozens of articles, books, dissertations are written about family neuroses. The facts are crying out: every third or fourth family is “bursting at the seams”.

    A family cannot build good relations without God's help! Only by walking towards God, loving each other through love for the Creator, the family acquires true happiness and fullness of being. This is proved by life, confirmed by history. Through faith, repentance, joint prayers, Christian upbringing of children and mutual love, spouses go to the main goal - the Kingdom of God.

    Children must be protected from any pernicious influence, since a whole stream of various kinds of indecency is being poured onto their fragile souls today. Parental piety is an effective example for children to follow. Drunkenness, lack of spirituality, immoral behavior, which are opposite to it, are, alas, also an effective example, but a disastrous example. His Holiness Patriarch Alexy II very accurately remarked that "If there is no consciousness of the sacred in the soul, the abomination of desolation is affirmed in it."

    Spouses should understand that the health of the child is laid already during pregnancy, in utero. And from how future mom a child's health largely depends on his health, including mental health.

    - What kind of neurotic disorders are children prone to?

    The greatest number of children's neuroses is observed in the senior preschool, younger school and adolescence. This is a feeling of mental tension, anxiety, anxiety in anticipation of upcoming troubles in Everyday life; and the manifestation of intrusive images, thoughts and ritual actions; and various phobias; and neuropathy, characterized by increased irritability, capriciousness of the child, instability of mood, severe fearfulness.

    One of the specific developmental disorders of school skills is dyslexia. This pathology occurs in approximately 5-6% of school-age children and the degree of its manifestation varies. Dyslexia is 3-4 times more common in boys than in girls. With dyslexia, it is difficult to translate alphabetic characters into sounding words. This is not just a slowdown in reading, but also its qualitative change. There are gaps, additions, replacement or distortion of letters.

    For hyperkinetic syndrome motor disinhibition, excessive (useless) activity are characteristic. The child is whimsical, hysterical, acts without considering the circumstances, is not able to follow the accepted rules of behavior. Usually it is difficult for such children to adapt at school, they are extremely restless, absent-minded, they constantly strain everyone and provoke other children to misbehavior. Feeling their inferiority, they seem to do "evil" to others - a vicious circle mechanism arises. Hyperkinetic syndrome in its development has two trends. In one case, with God's help, with the competent tactics of parents, psychologists, teachers, doctors, by the age of 12-14, it weakens and disappears. In another, it transforms into psychopathy, and the personality becomes even more maladjusted. This trend is very unfavorable.

    May develop during early childhood school neurosis. Its cause is the psychological unpreparedness of the child for school, rejection by his peers, humiliation, beating, excessive severity and inexperience of the teacher. A child suffering from this neurosis appears depressed, refuses to go to school, imitates (often unconsciously) various illnesses. Parents should be attentive, be able to recognize his mental difficulties in time and help him. A medical consultation or the advice of an experienced psychologist will also be useful. If a child is sick, then parents should understand that his well-being and mental state will largely depend on their piety.

    I also note such a mental illness as anorexia nervosa. This disease is caused by refusal to eat in order to lose weight. At the same time, especially in the initial stages, the appetite is preserved and abstinence from food is given by a stubborn struggle with oneself. The peak incidence occurs in adolescence. As a rule, girls and girls become victims of this disease. The debut of anorexia often coincides with stress, unrequited love, rejection of feelings on the part of young people or rejection of one's own appearance. And then the behavior of the girl is determined by this obsessive or overvalued idea - to lose weight, which is achieved by refusing food. Eating behavior is sharply perverted. In severe cases, cachexia, amenorrhea are observed, serious metabolic disorders occur, the psyche and the whole organism suffer, and the prognosis of the disease is not always favorable. Sometimes anorexia is a consequence of a mental illness. Therefore, you should definitely consult a psychiatrist for help.

    As if the opposite of anorexia is the condition bulimia nervosa, in which stresses and troubles are "jammed". In this case, medical and psychological correction is also needed.

    Among mental developmental disorders in children, special mention should be made of childhood autism. The diagnosis of "infantile autism" is made when the child reaches three years of age (although specific disorders, of course, are noted before this). The central symptom of this pathology is a violation of social behavior. Such children do not ask for hands, do not show interest in the sounds of speech and do not respond to speech addressed to them. Unlike, say, ordinary children, they are not afraid of strangers, they are not afraid to be alone in the room. The child is emotionally cold, indifferent to relatives, he speaks little, sometimes refuses to communicate at all, and is prone to stereotypical movements. In infants with this pathology, there is no "complex of revival" in response to emotional impact. At an older age, autistic people in every possible way avoid social contacts, show no interest in friendship, communication. Intellectual defects can be significant, or they can be subtle. However, if psychologically suffering from autism is not treated and helped, then as adults they cannot adapt to realities and often become socially maladjusted. Let me emphasize the fact that in this case we are talking about a disease, and not about a silent character.

    TO conduct disorders in adolescence includes an extensive group of states, the main manifestations of which are a hostile attitude towards others, towards established rules and orders. Usually such children, mostly boys (although in Lately many girls appeared with similar deviations), having low self-esteem, they compensate for it with a kind of game of "superman". Punishment does not correct them, but on the contrary, it only increases the level of internal aggression and leads to new behavioral disorders. Sometimes truly titanic efforts, pedagogical talent are required to return these children to normal behavior, to re-educate them.

    In the group of disorders of social functioning in children, one can distinguish selective mutism. This disorder is characterized by the fact that the child has confident, correct speech in some situations (usually with relatives, relatives) and, on the contrary, the inability to speak, for example, at school. This disorder is different from ordinary shyness and requires qualified medical intervention.

    Neurotic disorders that usually begin in childhood and adolescence include tics- involuntary, fast, non-rhythmic movements of limited muscle groups (blinking, twitching); inorganic enuresis Age-inappropriate involuntary daytime or nighttime urination. Enuresis is found in 7% of boys and 3% of girls under the age of ten. Enuresis is diagnosed in children older than five years. That is, until this age, doctors do not talk about the disease.

    Stuttering is usually formed between the ages of two and five years, during the formation of speech. Therefore, it is very important preventive actions. Since the fear of communication, often inherent in children at this age, can be fixed. And then the muscles of the face are kept in tension. And then a vicious circle is formed: tension - stuttering - tension - stuttering.

    Currently, the diagnosis is often made, such as minimal brain dysfunction. Minimal brain dysfunctions are characterized by a delay in the rate of development of the functional systems of the brain that provide certain higher mental functions responsible for speech, writing, reading, counting, as well as the regulation and control of mental processes. The intelligence of such children does not suffer, but they experience significant difficulties in schooling and in social adaptation. Currently, therapies for minimal brain dysfunctions are well developed.

    Separately, I will say about psychopathy. Psychopathy- This is a personality anomaly, which is characterized by disharmony of the mental disposition of the individual. Alas, our reality is often a "supplier" of psychopathic personalities. Psychopathy occupies, as it were, an intermediate position between psychoses and neuroses. So, if a person suffering from a neurosis, relatively speaking, harms himself, then a psychopath harms others with his behavior. The treatment of psychopathy is a long, complex and not always effective process. The same can be said about the spiritual rehabilitation of psychopathic personalities. However, what is impossible for man is possible for God.

    This is not a complete list of mental disorders that can occur in childhood and adolescence. More pronounced painful mental disorders (children's type of schizophrenia, mental retardation, and others) require timely diagnosis and qualified psychiatric care.

    Many children experience various kinds of fears. How serious is this? Is it worth taking any measures, or will these fears disappear on their own with time?

    Perhaps there is no person on Earth who does not know what fear is. Fear is inherent in the nature of fallen man, which instinctively fears a threat from without. Numerous topics have been devoted to the topic of fear. Scientific research. There is also a theological argument about this.

    What is fear? Psychological literature refers to fear emotion that arises in situations of threat of an individual. If, say, pain is a consequence of the real impact of some dangerous factors, then fear arises when they are anticipated. Fear has many shades or degrees: fear, fear, fright, horror. If the source of danger is uncertain, then in this case one speaks of anxiety. Inappropriate fear reactions are called phobias.

    There are fears from cowardice, cowardice. Cowardice can, unfortunately, be vaccinated. If, say, a child is told something like this every five minutes: “do not touch”, “do not climb”, “do not come near”.

    In no case should children be locked in a dark room or closet for the purpose of punishment. And also to scare children with an “evil uncle” or someone else, to threaten that “we will hand you over to other parents” or “you will live on the street” and the like. In addition to fear, these pseudo-pedagogical methods will not bring anything.

    Psychologists distinguish the so-called parental fears that "migrate" from parents to children. This, for example, is a fear of heights, mice, dogs, cockroaches and much more. This list can go on and on. So these persistent fears can often be found later in children. Distinguish fear situational that occurs at the moment of threat, danger, and personal, the occurrence of which is associated with character traits.

    Speaking of children's fears, one can even single out some regularity or stages.

    • One to three years the child may experience fear, expressed anxiety during separation from loved ones, especially from the mother. Fear can also appear with a sharp change in the regime of the day.
    • Three to five years in children who already have some life experience, imaginary fears are added to the above fears (fairy tale characters, impressions that pop up in the mind of the child, scary stories for him, etc.). That is also why children's souls and eyes should be protected from all evil spirits and vulgarity. How important it is to nourish the soul of a child with the grace of God.
    • A distinctive feature of children's fears five to seven years old is the fear of death (of one's own, parents, grandparents) that often arises at this age. The soul of a child does not agree with death, which seems unnatural to it. And that's what's important. Believing children from churched families practically do not experience this kind of fear. They know that death is the beginning of eternity for a person.
    • The main time for fears is at night. Therefore, it is very important that the child's sleep is strong and calm. Before going to bed, stay with him for a while, cross yourself and bless the coming dream. Speak softly, softly, calmly. Sing a lullaby or say something interesting and useful. Hug him, kiss him, make him a cozy “nest”, let him take his favorite toy with him to the crib.

      If during the day there were some omissions, if you punished the child, then you need to explain why he was punished, forgive everything. In a word, by the evening the situation should be resolved.

      Orthodox parents teach their children to pray, the sign of the cross, and the baby will not go to bed until he crosses himself. He knows that he is protected, that he is not alone: ​​the Lord is with him, Holy Mother of God, Guardian angel; a host of saints pray for him, for mom, dad and for all Orthodox Christians. God's and parental blessing will protect him.

      What to advise parents whose children are lethargic, or vice versa, overexcited? How to help a child, a teenager find peace of mind and maintain mental health as long as possible?

      You need to start with the simplest and, at the same time, very significant - the daily routine. If it is not marked at all, then the child, and even the teenager, will undoubtedly suffer from this. Confusion, disorder, lack of system are always fraught with various problems. The absence of a regime often leads to idleness, ignorance of what to do, what to do. One of the main "diseases" of the younger generation is lack of will, volitional disorders. The mode organizes the personality.

      For parents and children, in this case, I cite life in a monastery as an example. The monastic charter leaves no time for idleness at all. Prayer, obedience, work, study of the works of the holy fathers.

      Along the way, I will add that children, especially urban ones, lack movement, fresh air. But there is an excess of tension: psycho-emotional, informational. One television is worth something.

      For myself, I made this conclusion a long time ago: nervous parents - nervous children. Unfortunately, there are few happy families, but there are more than enough problem ones. Quarrels and conflicts of parents, constant “showdowns”, of course, neuroticize the child. During the consultation, I always tell such parents that their home can become a paradise for children, or it can become a hell. So choose which is better.

      As treatment and preventive recommendations for neurotic disorders in children, it is possible to suggest the use of baths with the addition of sea salt, coniferous extracts. It is advisable to take vitamin preparations. But the consumption of stimulating drinks (tea, cocoa, coffee, etc.) should be limited. An important role is played by feasible physical labor, hardening of the child, his sufficient stay on fresh air. Hiking, trips out of town to nature are good, especially with the whole family.

      Very importance have a calm, warm relationship of all family members to each other and, of course, to the child, which will create an atmosphere of love in the house. It is necessary to temper the will of the child, accustom him to work, teach him to endure hardships, sorrows, and illnesses. Education is, first of all, love and a worthy example. And most importantly, be always with Christ. Then the child will grow up as a morally healthy person.

      interviewed by Polina Melnikova