How to answer provocative questions. How to quickly answer difficult questions How to answer questions in

“Don’t you want to give birth to a second one?”, “And how much do you earn?"“When will you get married?”, “You are getting divorced, right?” - probably, each of us has been in an awkward situation when a curious interlocutor really wanted to get information that you do not want to share, and then regret what direction this conversation took.

We present to your attention several strategies that will help you answer the most tricky questions and feel great at the same time. We recommend that you first practice on one of your friends, so as not to go into your pocket for a word in a real situation.

1) Programmers and Sherlock Holmes recommend

When answering unpleasant questions, you have every right not to give the interlocutor any specific information. Behave like a programmer from a joke, who answered the question of the lost Holmes and Watson traveling in a balloon, absolutely correctly, but at the same time there was no use from his words.

- Sir, can you tell me you tell us where we are?
- In the basket hot air balloon, sir!

Or let's give a general, but also not too much useful information.

- How much is do you earn?
- Like everyone else, the average salary in the industry (significantly less than Abramovich).

2) "Mirror"

“Return” to the interlocutor his question. This can be done using two simple methods.

a) Formulate the “request” in such a way that the person with whom you are talking becomes uncomfortable for your interest. Use a universal construction that begins with the words “I understand correctly that ...”, and its ending will depend solely on whether you continue to communicate, whether you want to “build” your personal boundaries, etc.: “I understand correctly that you don’t mind holding a candle in my bedroom?”, or “Do I understand correctly that your main problem today is my personal life?”, or “I understand correctly that interest in other people’s troubles is in the order of things for you ? Well, if you say all this in a very polite, very calm, icy tone and do not gesture at the same time, except that you raise one eyebrow in surprise.

b) "Increase" interest in a given topic by addressing the interlocutor with a counter question from the same category:

- When are you going to give birth to the second one?
- Are you the third one?

3) "Theater of one actor"

Hearing some unpleasant question, you can always imagine yourself as a great dramatic actress, look deeply into the eyes of your interlocutor, take a deep breath, press your hands to your chest (if you wish, you can “break” your fingers), portray the abyss of despair and say in a tragic voice: “I beg you ! Never, you hear, never ask me about it! The second option - you portray a person giving a press conference (we will not name specific names, but we recommend paying attention to the persons of the first echelon of power) and say the phrase: "Please, the next question!". The third version is for fans of the series "Univer". Remember the karateka Eduard Kuzmin (aka Kuzma) and say: “This is classified information!”.

4) "I'm not a bore, not a bore, not a bore!"

Instead of being offended, angry, or otherwise demonstrating that the interlocutor's question hurt you, start answering in an even, monotonous voice. The most important thing is the details. State the smallest details and start very far!

- When will you get married?
- Astrologers say that in order to conclude a happy marriage, it is necessary that the ascendants of the lovers converge (do not ask us what the ascendants are and whether they should actually converge - any abstruse theory is suitable that your counterpart is not too versed in, even the "astrogram" , at least a sharp turn in the life line, at least the Nazdak index). And at that moment, when I realize that I have met my soul mate and check if we are suitable for each other (I will have to clarify where and what time he was born), then I will tell him: “Yes.” And not a minute earlier.

5) Joke, it's annoying!

“Oh my God, how much did you spend on this dress?”
- I had to starve for two weeks, but what can not be done for the sake of fashion!

Universal Answers

“I admire your ability to ask perplexing questions!” Or: “You are an amazing woman (an amazing man), you know what always amazed me about you? This is your ability to ask incorrect (difficult, rhetorical) questions!”

“I’ll be happy to answer your question, just tell me first, why are you so interested in this?”

"What are you interested in?"

"Do you really want to talk about it?" If you hear an affirmative “Yes”, feel free to retort: ​​“But I don’t want to,” and smile.

If you don't want to have any more dealings with a person who asks tactless questions, you can allow a few more. For example, to notice in response: “This is my dog ​​business ...”

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It happens to everyone. It happened to you. Even now you can easily recall several cases when you were asked an uncomfortable question - and you answered it, and then regretted for a long time that you did not answer differently. Question: how to make sure that this situation does not happen again?

An uncomfortable question is different for an uncomfortable question. There are different reasons why these questions are uncomfortable, different reasons why people ask you these questions at all.

One thing unites them: in order to correctly and calmly answer these questions, a developed skill of improvisation is required. And you can earn it ... by answering them. Crap. Problem.

Okay, don't get upset.

There is a serious base of tricks that allow you to gain time to think about the answer and simplify the question itself. Moreover, there are even means to put the questioner in an uncomfortable position - if, of course, you are sure that he asked his question with malicious intent.

Let's go in order.

The main rule for answering difficult questions

No matter how uncomfortable the question was and how unsuccessfully you would not answer it, then, after a couple of hours of shame and a few sleepless nights, the ideal wording of the answer will crystallize in your head anyway.

Moreover - if you had to answer the same question ten seconds later, the answer would still be much better than the one that was.

Whatever the additional aggravating circumstances of the awkward question, the main problematic factor remains the lack of time.

Thus, the main rule of answering uncomfortable questions is that you need to buy time to think.

"Stop, moment, you're awful"

On the deuce: "Alexander Matrosov"

There's just no money right now. We will find money - we will make indexation. Hang in there, all the best to you, Have a good mood and health. Dmitry Medvedev, Prime Minister of Russia

Many of us, in the case of stress associated with an unpleasant issue, have a desire to “throw on the embrasure”. We don’t even have time to think it over - we just blurt something out because we feel that the question is uncomfortable, and we feel that everyone feels that the question is uncomfortable for us, and we are afraid of seeming indecisive and insincere in the answer.

This is bad.

Three with a plus: “the cow answers”

Another natural reaction of a person who was asked a difficult question, this time, however, really reasonable and essentially correct. However, it sounds so-so - as if the cow is really starting to answer the question.

Cows give milk - and let them give. Don't let the cow answer difficult questions for you.

What happens is exactly what a person is afraid of, who "throws himself on the embrasure." The responder really looks indecisive or insincere. Especially if the mooing drags on for a long time.

However, it should be remembered: if Dmitry Anatolyevich Medvedev, instead of “there is no money, but you hold on,” mumbled like that for about five seconds, and then gave a more deliberate answer, then everyone would not laugh at him social media. That is, even a long moo is better than a quick blunder.

On a solid four: a second of silence

You play a pause of the same length as in the previous variation. The only difference is that you don't make any sounds while doing this.

If the pause is not very long, they will not pay attention to it at all. If it is of medium length, this will give your image a certain touch of thoughtfulness or mystery.

The main thing is not to be ashamed of a short pause. The embarrassment is felt.

Alternative for a solid four: repetition is the mother of delay

- And how was the Russian team going to defeat Wales at all?

How were we going to beat Wales? Well, you see...
hypothetical dialogue

In this way, you will win back even more time than the previous two can give you, without arousing any suspicion.

In addition, this method is strongly recommended for use during crowded public events - for example, press conferences. The fact is that not everyone could hear the question posed to you. So you give them an extra chance. If they noticed this, they would be grateful to you - but they will not notice, since the use of this method is practically not perceived by people as some kind of separate action.

Usage restrictions? Do not use it too often, regularly and in a row. Otherwise, a person who diligently observes your speeches may pay attention to it and come to strange conclusions.

And what to do with it?

These are simple options to buy time when answering a difficult question. You can already begin to work out the use of the winning third and fourth. At first, you will resort to them consciously, and then it will become a habit. As a result, your “pain threshold”, beyond which the question begins to be perceived as uncomfortable, will seriously increase.

But let's not stop there.

Hold and clarify

Why did we call the first group of techniques "simple"? The point is not the complexity of the application of these techniques. Just asking you a question most often becomes unpleasant due to three factors: lack of time to think, confusing wording, or information that you would not want to give out.

Feel free to clarify the wording if the interlocutor asked you for something completely indigestible.

"Simple" techniques are aimed at combating one factor. "Complicated" - with several.

Now we are moving on to "complex". Or rather, to that group of them that gives you time and clarifies the essence of the issue.

Do not offend tongue-tied

A person can ask you a confused and very uncomfortable question - and then also take offense at you because you understood him differently and gave not quite the answer that he expected.

Don't bring it up. Moreover, it will be easier for you to answer the clarified question yourself.

The first option is holy simplicity

Everything is simple and obvious. You're just asking the wording of the question. If you do not do this too often, and your interlocutor does not have a nervous breakdown, this request will be perceived at least normally.

Moreover, if the question turned out to be awkward, the person asking it himself is not averse to reformulating it. Unless, of course, he is trying to take you away on purpose. Most of the time he doesn't try. And even if it tries, you benefit from repeating the wording in any case, and then you get the opportunity to move on to offensive tactics.

Some communicators emphasize that asking for a repeat of a question is only appropriate in a formal setting. Well, perhaps - if you literally and directly ask the interlocutor to repeat.

However, in an informal setting, you can always pretend that you misheard.

By the way, this is a common bad habit - to respond to the questions asked, as if you did not hear them, using the resulting time to think about the answer. When this tactic does become a habit, it can become a problem. In particular, people with whom such a "hard of hearing" thinker communicates often may form a rather bad opinion of him. So you should know the measure and apply it consciously.

The second option is a wedge wedge

- What do you think as a coach about the unused opportunities for the Russian football team in the game with Wales? Who is to blame for this?

What kind of possibilities are you asking about? About dangerous moments that did not lead to goals, or about failed counterattacks?
hypothetical dialogue

It often happens that the question is too broad. At such moments, it is not at all shameful to answer it with a question that will narrow it down.

Advantages of the method?

The first, as before, is the time won, which you will spend on putting your pulse in order and considering your words. Secondly, you really get rid of the need to independently think out and decipher the question asked to you.

The third option is to clarify the wording

This method is especially interesting because it can be used both for defense and for attack.

There is a classic example about hunting:

(reproachfully) - Why do you consider hunting a courageous occupation?

(tired and with a slight hint of disdain) - Well, first of all, what do you consider to be courageous?

You may need to use wording refinement just to make the question clearer.

But sometimes questions are asked in the first place in order to embarrass you. And when you pay the questioner in the same coin, forcing him to independently dive into what he was going to plunge you into - he is shy and looks stupid.

Fourth option - reformulate the question yourself

“That is, you are interested in what ...” and similar beginnings of the answer. This option has an obvious plus: you clearly take the further development of the conversation into your own hands, you are free to shift the interpretation of the question so that it turns out to be not so inconvenient.

There is no need to stop bullets of incorrect questions mid-flight if you can simply dodge them.

However, there is also a downside. In fact, you can answer not quite the (or not at all) the question that the interlocutor asked you. Of course, you should not stop before this if the interlocutor sought to make you publicly embarrassed. But if there were no evil intentions, and the question was simply poorly worded, you can upset the person.

Dodge a bullet

And now let's add the other two factors of the complexity of the question: you, as usual, do not have enough time to think about the answer, but it is already clear that you would not like to give this answer. While the wording of the question is clear in principle. What to do in this case?

Consider a portion of tricks that allow you to tactfully and beautifully evade question asked. The expectation is that the questioner does not even understand that you did not answer it. At least I didn't understand it right away.

Weak link in the chain of questions (funnel method)

Unfortunately, this method cannot be used in any case. If you only have one question, it won't work.

Here's the catch, though: people often ask questions in batches. This is less common in informal dialogue - although it also occurs. But in a more formal setting - easily.

- How is the work on the Desert Storm project going? Are there any problems and how close is it to completion?

“Oh, work is going great. As for the problems, then ... (then you expand on the topic of problems and the methods by which you solve them for ten minutes, completely without returning to the question “how close is it to completion?” - because you know that, oh, how close)
hypothetical dialogue

You answer those questions or parts of questions that you are quite comfortable answering. And really inconvenient - leave it as if overboard.

Of course - an attentive and meticulous interlocutor can remind you that you did not fully answer the question. Sadness. Well, at least you've had time to think about the answer to the most unpleasant part of the question.

However, in most cases, your interlocutor may simply not have the opportunity to supplement the question - for example, if the case takes place at a press conference. And besides, a relatively small percentage of interlocutors can be called “attentive and meticulous”. Even if they have already learned to ask uncomfortable questions.

Focus shift (bridge method)

- When, finally, will the indexation of pensions? Prices are going up so fast right now!

You are absolutely right, the situation is very difficult. Our geopolitical enemies have done everything possible to make our prices grow. Here, for example ... (a half-hour monologue about the search for intrigues)
hypothetical dialogue

Reception similar to the previous one. But in order for you to use it, your interlocutor does not even need to ask you a few questions from which you could choose.

"But why are you asking?"

Interesting: when asking a difficult question, many people do not even want to receive a clear answer to it. Much more they are interested in the very discussion of this topic.

Therefore, all sorts of variations in the spirit of “why do you ask” and “why do you think so”, which allow them to develop a discussion, satisfy them much more.

And again - if the questioner does not really seek to discuss this topic, but intends to simply bombard you with a difficult question, such a move will put him in a position no less vulnerable than the one in which he expected to put you.

And this will happen at the moment when he has already considered the most difficult part of the case completed and set out to stock up on popcorn and watch your shame.

Where to begin?

Add this list to your browser bookmarks and start practicing various ways, periodically returning to refresh the theory.

Do not leave this matter - and after a while you will remember with a slight smile about the period when an unexpected question could put you in an awkward position.

Questions... Sometimes they are completely harmless. And sometimes they make our hearts pound and we ourselves stutter.

To be human means to be able to improvise. It is a skill that includes being able to make timely remarks as well as answer difficult and unexpected questions.

People ask these questions to get information, but there are often other reasons behind their questions. Sometimes they want to know about your attitude to a particular subject and see how calm and confident you look at the same time.

The ability to answer complex questions is built on two principles:

1. it is necessary to have a sufficient store of knowledge that provides the necessary information;
2. you need to be able to communicate this information confidently and calmly.

General plan: always give yourself more time

When someone asks us a difficult question, we try to answer it immediately. We are afraid that even a brief moment of silence will be regarded as hesitation or as a desire to avoid answering altogether.

Even a few extra nanoseconds will allow your brain to process more information and then formulate it in the right words

The answer that you impulsively say is not likely to be the best, and later, when you think it over, you will probably regret saying it in a hurry. So the most useful thing you can do to improve the quality of your answers to difficult questions is to give yourself more time to think about those answers.

Even a few extra nanoseconds will allow your brain to process more information and then formulate it in the right words.

Allowing ourselves to take tiny pauses, we perfectly gather our thoughts. Just do not fill these pauses with all sorts of "Uh ..." or "M-mmm ...". They will make you look insecure. You can also repeat the question before answering, which will also give extra seconds.

There are other ways to buy time to think. The most effective of them is to clarify the issue as much as possible (and in fact - to get new question) before answering it. There are several ways to get your opponent to provide you with a better and less complicated version of the question:

Ask to repeat the question

People often want to rephrase their question because they don't like the way it was phrased. So let them do it. Perhaps their "take two" will be shorter and clearer.

“Could you repeat the question? I want to make sure I really get it right."

Ask for clarification

If the question is too vague, answer it with a counter question that should clarify and define what the opponent is trying to achieve.

“Now there are several types of insurance. Which one are you really interested in?

“Motivation is a broad concept. Do you need advice on a particular aspect of it?

And it is especially effective to concretize the question by putting the questioner before a choice:

"Are you concerned about the number of sales in 2012 or 2014"?

Ask for a definition

Even when people use the same words, they can mean completely different things by them. In order not to talk about different things, ask your opponent for wording key concepts his question:

“Before I answer, could you tell me what you mean by 'sloppy'?

"I'm willing to discuss this with you, but before we get started, what does the phrase "official dating" mean to you?

Define your own goal

One way to get more control over the interaction is to rephrase the question so that it becomes part of your answer:

“Why do you think that your appeal to that company was unsuccessful? If by failure you mean that nothing good came of this venture, then I don't think so. Yes, you didn't sign that agreement, but you established friendly relations, so now you are open to future projects."

Dealing with Unacceptable Questions: The Art of Avoidance

Sometimes the questions are quite clear, but irrelevant, and you, in the most different reasons, do not want to answer them in full. Then you will have to evade a direct answer.

Avoidance of direct answers has a very dubious reputation, as it is associated with insincerity and manipulation. But sometimes you really can't give someone a direct answer because the information is confidential, touches on very sensitive topics, or is simply not intended for that audience. Here are the methods that are recommended to use in order to successfully give evasive answers.

Answer only one part of the question

If the issue is complex and there are several aspects in it that you do not want to touch on, and there is at least one aspect that does not cause problems, it is recommended to focus on it:

I heard that there will be a new series of layoffs soon. I also heard that the issue of reducing salaries is being considered. And I noticed that the free soda had disappeared from the break room. Is it due to the decrease in the company's profit?
- I can assure you that there will be no layoffs in the next six months. I don't know what you've heard, but the company is strong enough, and our revenue is a quarter higher than expected.

How do you like new job? How much do they pay you?
- It's really good. It's amazing how different office culture can be. Every Friday we finish work early, drink beer and play softball. How much have you played this spring?

(Ending your answer with a counter-question will help move the conversation away from the question you don't feel like answering.)

Reorient the question

If there is some part of the question that you do not want to talk about, focus on the aspect that is not problematic to discuss. This can be done by taking one phrase from the question (which is usually not the main topic of this question), and drawing maximum attention to it.

Are they considering my candidacy for this position? I feel like I showed enough self-confidence during those interviews of mine.
- Exactly. Frank said he was very impressed with your confidence and the level of your preparation.

(Here you are focusing on the confidence aspect and sidestepping the issue of position.)

Why do you think I'm not moving forward? I feel stuck in life that my boss just doesn't appreciate me. I don't mean to be boastful, but I'm very smart.
Yes, you are indeed a smart person. And when you use your mind for its intended purpose, you really succeed. Are there any ways to implement the things you started more consistently? (Instead of listing the other person's shortcomings, you focus his attention on the fact that he is really smart, thereby positioning your answer in a positive way.)

Discuss the issue

Sometimes it seems that people are looking for a specific answer to a question, but in reality they just want their question to be discussed. They want to hear different points of view about their idea, or they just want to know what you think about it too, to understand that their question is something that makes you think hard. In most cases, questions like this are best answered with an attempt to delve deeper into the topic:

Why isn't the school board trying to reach out to a larger audience to get better feedback from students' parents?
- We work with people more than you think. We sent messages to 500 families. But the situation is complicated: parents of older children do not want the same things that parents of toddlers want. We carefully consider all opinions and options and try to find ways to compromise.

Why doesn't our relationship make you happy?
- Why do you think I'm unhappy?

Build a bridge

With this technique, you build a bridge from the question asked to what you really want to talk about. This method is similar to the reorientation of questions technique, but the difference between the content of the question and the topic of your answer is much more significant here.

If you've ever watched politicians debate on television, this method will sound familiar to you. The politician is asked about his position on the war, to which he will answer: “War, of course, is an important issue that must be resolved. But what I really want to talk about is the issue of tax increases that my opponent raised.”

An answer built according to the "bridge" scheme can piss off the opponent. So it is not recommended to use this technique to avoid really important questions.

Use the "funnel"

With the bridging technique, you can completely avoid questions about the main topic. But sometimes you just need to narrow down the discussion and also encourage the other person to ask follow-up questions and keep discussing one aspect. Using the funnel comes down to acknowledging some big problem and then directing the audience's attention to the part of that problem that you want to focus on.

What kind of work experience makes you a good candidate for this position?
- I have experience in the hospitality industry, experience in customer service, but the best experience that most closely matches what you are looking for is the five years I worked in social media management, and I worked for one of your competitors.

Have you already planned how you will carry out this project?
- Yes, and the most important step will be to secure funding for it. As you can see on this chart, we have already got half of the money.

Sometimes directness is best: the art of shooting from the hip

Sometimes the best way to answer a difficult question is to give an absolutely direct answer to it. Such directness can stun and disarm the opponent. Probably some of you are now thinking: “You should always shoot from the hip. A real man does not shy away from direct answers!

It certainly sounds great, but it doesn't always work. Every day we evade a variety of answers. And when someone asks: "How are you?" we say, "Well, I had a little fight with my wife yesterday, and besides, my truck needs new brakes." We all reorient questions, and often only partially answer the exact questions we were asked.

In the art of improvisation, the most important thing is to know how and what to respond in circumstances that vary widely.

Master of a sharp word [What answer to a joke, collision, uncomfortable question] Kanashkin Artem

Answers to uncomfortable questions

Answers to uncomfortable questions

Undoubtedly, each of us got into an awkward situation when a curious interlocutor really wanted to know something about you, but at the same time you did not want to talk about this topic at all.

Here are some frequently asked awkward questions, as well as original answers to them. Unusual and witty answers will lead you out of the impasse. I recommend that you familiarize yourself with them and remember the options you like the most.

When answering unpleasant or tactless questions, you have every right not to give the interlocutor any specific information, and at best - to show wit and humor.

"How much do you earn?"

1) Slightly less than Abramovich.

2) I have enough. And also to my wife (girlfriend), mistress and mother - they also have enough for everyone.

3) (Half-whisper, looking around) The boss said that if I tell someone, I will stop getting my salary.

4) You, by any chance, are not from the tax office? (carefully)

5) I earn living wage, and everything else above is a trade secret.

"When are you going to get married?" (“When will you get married?”)

1) Astrologers say that in order to conclude a happy marriage, it is necessary that the ascendants of the lovers converge and their starograms testify to a sharp turn in the line of life. And at the very moment when I realize that I met my star and check if we are suitable for each other according to the horoscope, then I will get married.

2) When I get ready, I'll let you know right away. You'll be the first to know.

"Aren't you going to get married?"

Yes, I just got divorced! I'll rest a bit and find a new victim.

"When are you going to give birth?" (“When are you going to pick up the baby?”)

Basically, this question is asked to young people who have not yet completely settled down after the wedding.

Here we will rehearse the conception for another year or two and immediately after the baby!

"What do you do for a living?"

You can joke and intrigue the interlocutor using the following list of specialties:

a) Designer of trolleybus composters.

b) The director of porn films.

c) School board cleaner.

d) Gynecologist.

e) A lifeguard on a nude beach.

f) Positive generator at the distillery.

g) A teacher of obscene language.

h) I lead charitable foundation in support of people suffering from garbage!

i) A specialist in a specialty.

"What blushed?"

You felt uncomfortable, blood vessels dilated, blood flow to the skin increased dramatically, after which your face turned red. No problem!

Habit! I work as a traffic light!

"You are drunk?"

Is your girlfriend or boyfriend with an unhappy face asking you this question? Your friends mockingly say: "Who pulls fresh?" and squint in your direction. Since you have been set on fire, there is no point in making excuses, you need to smooth the situation using resourceful humor:

No, I just wandered down the street, wandered and wandered!

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

Quite an uncomfortable and provocative question for a guy when meeting a girl or, even worse, with a company of new girls. Firstly, if you answer that there is, then attention to you as an object of close communication is greatly weakened, since you are already busy. If you say no, then thoughts arise that something may be wrong with you, because any normal guy should have a girlfriend. Many times I heard girls say about other guys: “So cute and cool, but there is no girl! Strange! Maybe something is wrong with him? Maybe he's a psycho or a moron? Or too demanding?

Again, you don't have to answer this personal question directly! Especially if the interested ladies are unfamiliar. Play with them, do not answer directly, intrigue. Answer the same provocative question:

Do you want to be my girlfriend already?

You can immediately begin to emphasize the fact that she already wants to become your friend without waiting for her answer:

Unexpectedly for me. So fast! Well, you give, I’m right at a loss, I don’t even know how to react to this! Here are the impudent girls gone today!

The main thing is to do it lightly, with a positive, making fun, not letting her insert a word. Reactions to this are different, depending on the nature of the girl. For example, just loud laughter, excuses like: “No, I don’t want to, you misunderstood” (in any case, it’s better for her to justify herself than for you to immediately answer her question, and you will be stupidly assessed as a person with or without a girl), funny girls with a sense of humor begin to play along: “Yes, yes, yes! You got me! I really want this,” etc.

"Why are you silent?"

I usually answer:

I tell you with my heart. What, don't you hear?

"Why are you smiling?"

1) My heart is responsive to the joys of life.

2) Chet "smiler" rolls over! Probably broke!

3) Life is beautiful!

"The smartest one, right?"

It happens that in the company of friends you put forward some idea or just tell something interesting, in other words, “get smart”. And there is a person who wants to undermine your authority. He says: "Are you the smartest?"

The output is like this:

You pause, examine the interlocutor with an evaluating look from head to toe and answer: “Of the two of us, definitely!”. So you single out only the two of you from society, put yourself higher, and lower it, thereby not hurting the pride of others.

"Who are you with?"

Sometimes they call me on the phone and ask:

What are you doing?

I walk (I walk in the park, I watch a play, I have fun).

To which I reply: "With pleasure." Intrigue is created.

"What were you thinking?"

Everyone has a moment when you think about something or your face just does not express any emotions. And suddenly you hear from the outside: “What are you thinking?” or “What are you thinking about?”

All about the people think! I have no time to have fun when there is such a mess in the country! (Phrase from the humorous series "Our Russia").

"How old are you?"

1) As much as winters.

2) 18 with a thirty-year-old ponytail.

"Do you like me?"

A frequent question of insecure people with misunderstandings in relationships.

Only hard banter comes to mind here:

Of course you like... Especially when I drink a lot!

"Do you have your own nails?"

A question that, according to the responses of girls, often freezes them.

1) No, damn it, let them vilify!

2) I donate for my older sister.

“And what did your husband (boyfriend, lover) give you for your birthday?”

He said that if I tell anyone, he will immediately take it away!

"You look bad! Are you sick? (intentional prick)

No, the nights went stormy and passionate, there was no time to sleep ...

"Where are we going?"

This question is often asked by girls before a date or in the first minutes when you have already met and are just heading in some direction.

We are going to a place where two planes of parallel reality intersected at the break point of the space-time continuum. (You make a mysterious appearance)

The answer is funny, not serious, even mockingly scientific, but most importantly - intriguing. Most people, especially women, love intrigue, it is a source of additional emotions that make communication rich in experiences and unusual sensations.

The most interesting thing is that you may not even know where you are going, but these words can be said and they will work - the mechanism of exciting uncertainty will be activated, plus there will be additional time to think about where you are going if you did not take care of it in advance.

"What we will do?" ("What do we do?")

Another question from the same series.

It depends not only on the level of your intellect, but also on the level of your undisclosed fantasy.

Again, wit, polysemy, which gives rise to a mass of images in my head, starting with serious logical ones, ending with the most intimate and even vulgar ones. But since the answer is vague, not accurate, the interlocutor does not understand what exactly you mean, therefore, he cannot blame you specifically for something.

“You don't smoke? Athlete?"

Often this question is asked to non-smokers, which is accompanied by ridicule such as "athlete", "boxer", "fighter for healthy lifestyle life”, etc. How can you gracefully get out of this situation? I propose to turn to the following life example.

Rested in the club with a group. We went to the bar for a drink. Smoking indoors was then still allowed: many guys and girls took out their cigarettes and lit up. Two girls sitting opposite asked me: “Do you smoke?” Immediately, a familiar guy, who was on the side of me, inserted with a malicious smile: “No, he is an athlete - a heavyweight fighter!” It was obvious to everyone in my appearance that I'm not a fighter. He just played a joke on me. I accepted the anatomy teacher's frame and began my brief and lively lecture:

The reason I don't smoke is because a man's penis is a muscle that is made up of many capillaries through which there is blood during arousal and brings him into a state of erection. And nicotine clogs these vessels, preventing free blood from passing into the muscle. Accordingly, when smoking, sooner or later there are problems with erection. And it will come in handy for me in the next 60 years! No wonder so many men are so frivolous.

The girls listened to the lecture on male sexual health very carefully and with concentration. The "cowboy" who was nearby and held a cigarette in one hand and a glass of beer in the other smiled unnaturally. His face showed awkwardness.

"Did you have anyone before me?"

A girl asks her boyfriend: “Have you had many girls before me?” Without thinking for a long time, he replies: “I had countless dreams of someone like you!”.

Great answer! Handsome!

Anecdote to continue the topic:

A newly married couple went to bed. She will hug him and ask: “Darling, how many girls did you have before me?” He lets her go, turns his back on her and is silent. 10 minutes pass - the situation is the same. She can't stand it and turns to him again, "Darling, are you offended by me?" He replies: “What are you! Of course not! I just still count them."

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