Is it possible to bury on Good Friday? On the commemoration of the dead in Passion and Easter weeks

great post is a time of deep sorrow. It is especially difficult to survive it if a loved one dies. Relatives in such cases are completely lost, because the event happened in special days, and you need to do everything right and with dignity. The Church clearly regulates how and if a person died in Lent. But among the people there are various superstitions and signs in this regard.

Popular superstitions

Great Lent intensifies feelings and thoughts. A person is increasingly thinking about the soul and his actions. And so often ordinary situations seem like great trials. And death is perceived especially sharply and with deep sorrow. The very time of Lent is the preparation of a person for the afterlife, for life after death. It is recommended to confess, take communion and take unction, so that sins can be forgiven.

In the old days, it was believed that the Lord calls to Himself most often during Great Lent. There was even such a saying: "The snow will melt, and people will leave for water." Modern ritual and funeral agencies also note a large increase in visitors and buyers in March-April.

If a person is baptized, a believer, and communed and confessed, thus preparing for the afterlife, then his death at any time will be easier, and his soul will find peace and its quiet abode.

From the point of view of the salvation of the soul, it was considered especially graceful to die on Easter or on Easter week.

The opinion of the Orthodox Church

The clergy refute the special significance of death and burial during Lent. During this period, commemorations on the 9th, 40th days and the anniversary of death are not satisfied, but are transferred to Saturday or Sunday of the current week. The only exception is Palm Sunday when there are no wakes.

In the church during Lent, the Orthodox order memorial services every Wednesday and Friday. Saturday and Sunday are the days for attending masses for the repose of the souls of the dead. They do not accept orders for magpies during Lent.

In order to pray for the deceased, there are special memorial Saturdays during Lent. For the entire period of Lent there are three of them:

Saturday of the 2nd week;
Saturday of the 3rd week;
Saturday of the 4th week of Great Lent.

There is no specific date for them. They move around the calendar according to Lent and Easter.

Also, before Christ's Resurrection, a Great Panikhida is served, which is attended by those who want to atone for the sins of their deceased relatives.

Easter week is a special week for remembering the dead. This is the time of universal joy, when the dead see Christ. During this period, memorial services and masses are not served.

It must be remembered that in the church you can only pray for those baptized in the Orthodox faith. Alms are given for suicides, non-Christians and unbaptized.

How to hold a commemoration in the Post

On commemoration days, proskomedia are ordered and liturgies are served after the service. It is only necessary to submit notes on the repose of deceased relatives.

The table for treats should also be lean. They commemorate the dead with a prayer before lunch or dinner.

At the very beginning, kutya is served - porridge made from grains. Also on the table should be lean pancakes. In addition, there should be soup, vegetable and cold snacks. The meaning of the meal is remembrance and mourning. Alcohol is not allowed. Pour a glass of vodka to the deceased, cover it with bread and put it next to the photo Orthodox Church not blessed.

The earthly Church helps the soul of the deceased on the way to the Kingdom of Heaven. through the prayer of loved ones and relatives, he prepares an appropriate fate for the deceased: the more fervent and sincere the prayer, the better it will be for him in heaven. If a person died during Great Lent, then nothing good or bad happened to his soul. Much more important is how a person lived, how he prayed, and whether he did good deeds.

Is it possible to commemorate the dead in the temple as a result of an illness caused by drunkenness?

It is possible if they were Orthodox and believers and did not die from drunkenness itself (did not get drunk to death).

Is it possible to put candles for the repose of the throne?

There is a special place for this - the eve, and it should be set there.

Is it possible to place a photograph of the deceased on the grave or grave cross? Should I take care of the grave? Is it possible to put tables, benches, eat?

Under no circumstances is a photo allowed. Pious believers put a case with an icon and a lamp. Also, you can not put tables, benches and eat. This is a pagan custom. Believers commemorate the dead with a prayer, some read the Seraphim Rule.

Is it possible to put a monument on which a cross is carved on the grave?

On the grave there should be only a cross.

There is a custom to light candles or lamps on the grave. Is it correct?

You can put candles on the grave provided that these candles burn in front of the icon, and not in front of a monument or photograph of the deceased.

Many people go to the cemetery on the first day of Easter. Is this custom correct?

This is a modern custom. Believers know that the commemoration of the dead begins after Antipascha. Now there are such customs that there is no seeing off a dead person without vodka. And a folk proverb says: “Whoever commemorates the dead with vodka, prepares them for great torment.”

There is a belief that until the fortieth day nothing can be given away from the things of the deceased. Is this true?

This is a belief inspired by the devil. On the contrary, it is necessary to do good for the deceased. Donate to the monastery, to the church wine - cahors (for the Holy Mysteries), flour (for prosphora), wax (for candles), distribute from the things of the deceased, buy sacred books (and distribute to believers) before the fortieth day, and not after. When is it necessary to intercede for the accused - before the trial or after the trial? So it is here: the soul goes through ordeals, judgment is made, it is necessary to intercede for it: to pray and do works of mercy, but people do not do this.

Is it necessary to leave for forty days in the temple the icon that was on the deceased during the funeral, and where to put it then?

There is a custom that the icon remains until the fortieth day in the temple, and on the fortieth day (or after) it is taken home. The icon is not placed in the coffin. St. Theophan the Recluse writes about this.

How often and at what better days should one visit the graves of loved ones and what is desirable to do there? Can you bring dogs with you?

On the days of remembrance of the dead, if it does not distract from the temple, otherwise on another day, visit the graves. Read from the Psalter the 118th kathisma or "Seraphim's Rule". Dogs are not allowed in the cemetery, especially in the fence where the temple is located.

Is it good to decorate the graves of loved ones?

Decorating the graves of the dead brings no benefit to the dead, but it also harms their souls.

What is more important on the day of remembrance of loved ones: to visit the cemetery or serve mass in the church?

Serving mass in the temple is more important than visiting the graves of relatives.

What is most important when commemorating the dead: almsgiving, memorial service, mass?

Everything is good and pleasant for the deceased; but if the deceased believed little or died without a cross, then almsgiving is better for him than prayer.

Is it good to invite a priest to serve a memorial service at the grave?

There was a case when, after the service at the grave, the deceased appeared to a relative and said: “Until now, it’s like a stone lay on me, but as soon as you served lithium for me, the stone would be removed from me.”

I heard that those who died in the Bright Week are worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven. Is it so?

Can a priest, in the absence of a church nearby and the impossibility of transportation, perform a funeral service at home or necessarily in a church?

Of course, it can, but the deceased is brought to the temple in order to be prayed for at the Liturgy.

Is it possible, in the event of mortal and inevitable danger, to confess to a person who does not have a priestly rank? Does it make sense or is it useless?

It is better in front of a monk and if a person has previously resorted to a priest and confessed.

In calendars (Orthodox), except church holidays, anniversaries and memorable dates, etc., days are given special commemoration deceased. When can't you remember? I mean funeral home meals. My brother died two years ago, on Wednesday during Holy Week. They buried, as expected, on the third day, on Friday. And the Church allowed the first commemoration only on Tuesday after Easter week. I would like to know on what days it is impossible to arrange a wake and how this is explained. And one more thing: which of the commemorations (the ninth day, the fortieth day, half a year, a year) can be done, as they are called, counter, i.e. rescheduled for another day?

Memorial meals are arranged not according to the Church Charter, but according to custom. According to the Charter of the Church, commemoration, and consequently, meals, are not supposed to be served during Great Lent, except for Saturdays and Sundays, during Bright Week, on great holidays. This is explained by the fact that in the days when the Church calls for the joy of the holiday, any sadness is not appropriate. There is no Liturgy during Great Lent (except for the Liturgy of the Presanctified Gifts), and consequently, there is no proskomidia, during which the priest takes out particles from the prosphora [in memory of the deceased - Note. ed.], which at the end of the Liturgy are washed by the Blood of Christ in the Holy Chalice. Lent and the funeral meal are very meager. In the past few decades, a practice has developed: instead of worship, many go to the cemetery on Easter and arrange a commemoration there. This custom developed due to the fact that the people were weaned from the Church for a long time. But since it is impossible to destroy faith in immortality, non-church people also tried it on the Day of the Light Christ's Resurrection to express by going to the cemeteries and there they communicated with their dead in the way they understood it. The Church, according to tradition, commemorates the dead on “Radonitsa” - the first Tuesday after Easter week, and on Easter calls for great joy and does not bless going to the cemetery, since especially the recent death of loved ones instead of joy plunges a person into sadness: instead of joy - tears which shouldn't be. On Easter, it is better to pray in church and at home and enjoy the holiday. Who cannot be on Tuesday - on the day of "Radonitsa" - in connection with work, it is more logical to visit the cemetery on the first Sunday after Easter (it is also called "The Descent of Jesus Christ into Hell"). The ninth day, fortieth and anniversaries - you need to commemorate in the Church on these days, and arrange meals - as you like.

I am a pensioner, we do not have a church in our village. I live alone, on Sundays old women gather at my place, just like me. We pray, we read the prayer book. We need to know: at funerals and commemorations on the ninth, fortieth days, for six months and a year, if we remember, then what to read and in what order?

Usually, for the repose of the laity, they read the Psalter. It also contains the reading order. After several short or one long psalm, it is indicated: “Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and forever and ever” and three times - “Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, glory to Thee, God”, and then: “Rest, Lord, the soul of your departed servant (Name)". After each "Glory" the commemoration is repeated again. You can read the commemoration book that is in the prayer books after morning prayers.

What is the most important commemoration for the dead?

Proskomidia is the most important commemoration, for the parts taken out for the dead are immersed in the Blood of Christ and the sins are cleansed by this great sacrifice. In general, a good example of commemoration was left to us by St. righteous Juliana. We read that when Vasily and Evdokia died, she distributed generous alms for the repose of their souls, ordered magpies from churches and set up memorial tables for monks, priests, widows, orphans and beggars for forty days, and also sent abundant alms to prisons (there are spiritual almsgiving: the distribution of spiritual books for the dead).

Tell me, what prayer, how many bows and for how long should be performed for the newly deceased?

A prayer should be read: “God rest, Lord, the soul of the departed newly-departed servant of Yours (her name) and forgive her every sin, voluntary and involuntary, ”- twelve times with twelve bows in the morning (after morning prayers), in the evening the same way (after evening prayers) within forty days.

Do all the departed pray there for us?

“Those who say about the dead are very mistaken: “They are now prayer books for us.” The dead no longer pray, but demand prayers and care for their souls from the living; but when their sins are cleansed by prayers, faith and the deeds of the living, then only the prayer of remembrance turns to the benefit of the souls of those who remember. Only the soul that the Lord has vouchsafed with full faith to take communion at the hour of death or receive a Christian death on the week of the Bright Resurrection of Christ is saved from air ordeals. (Abbess Feofaniya Govorova).

What is important at the time of death?

One must always think about meeting death in peace with everyone. Many do not know this, and therefore do not attach importance to non-peace.

Does the external rite of burial matter for the eternal fate of the deceased?

Know that for the eternal fate of the deceased, the appearance of the burial (coffin, wreaths, honor, music, funeral service by the highest church ranks, etc.) is of little importance. Everyone will be judged according to their deeds.

Does it matter for the salvation of the soul what death will find a person in?

The salvation of the soul depends a lot on the last minutes of life. “In what I find, in that I will judge,” the Gospel says.

What should be most feared at the approach of death?

Despair. We must remember what the Lord said to St. Catherine: “Sinners who, at the end of their lives, despair of My mercy, anger Me most of all and are very displeasing to Me for their sin, than for all their other iniquities and atrocities.”

Is it necessary to serve funeral services for an infant?

There is no need to serve a memorial service for a baby, but it is enough to commemorate it at a proskomedia; requiems are served for the forgiveness of sins, and a sacrifice is made at the proskomedia and particles are taken out of the saints: an infant burial is sung - asking not for the forgiveness of sins, but "for the repose of the baby."

How to get rid of the fear of sudden death?

According to St. Fathers, sudden death does not happen to people who want to purify themselves by repentance, even if they are sometimes overcome by their weaknesses.

How to justify oneself in ordeals?

Saint Theodora responded well when she was tortured (during ordeals). “You did this and that,” the demons said. She answered: “Yes, she did, but she repented and received forgiveness, permission.” Here is the kindest answer. This is where all our attention should be directed. First confession, and then the correction of life.

How to look at posthumous wills?

Others make various posthumous orders, wills, but such a sacrifice can by no means be equal to that which is made with their own warm hands.

Should we risk our lives, or should we save ourselves from an untimely death?

When God does not explicitly determine death for us, or when our death does not benefit either faith, or the Church, or neighbors, or fatherland, then is it possible to think that God “does not want death for a sinner,” who can turn, wanted an untimely death for people? We read that Saint Athanasius the Great many times fled from the persecutors who sought his death. Saint Polycarp of Smyrna came out of the temple, which threatened to fall and, at its end, crushed many. The Lord Himself commanded His disciples not to expose themselves to untimely danger and, when they were persecuted in one city, to flee to another.

Is it possible to take a certain fee (money) for reading the Psalter for the dead?

Is it possible to pray for the departed not only to the Lord, but also to His saints?

We already know the words on behalf of the dead at the big memorial service: “Togo, diligently, martyrs, pray for debts, permission to grant us.” In general, the Church ends her prayers for the dead with an appeal to the Mother of God.

What to do if you tremble Terrible doomsday?

If you, a Christian soul, truly tremble at the Terrible Judgment Day and seek mercy from the Lord, then, through the fear of the Judgment of God, arouse in yourself a firm determination to repent and live for the Lord alone in piety and purity, and as a testament to your sincerity, force yourself, for the first time, reverently spend the coming week in pious meditation, in abstinence and in prayerful preparation for the exploits of the approaching fast, as required by the Holy Church.

If in this matter ordinary worldly thoughts stop and tempt you, because of which the majority of people remain impenitent and careless, then again contrast them with the image of the Last Judgment - and the temptations will disappear.

Will all the deeds of a person at the Last Judgment be investigated?

Come to have the Son of Man in the glory of His Father with His Angels, and then He will reward anyone according to his deed(Matthew 16:27); whoever's deed will be revealed: the day will reveal, behind the fire it opens: and whoever's deed, as if it is, the fire will tempt(1 Cor. 3:13); for God will bring the whole creation to the judgment of all sin, if it is good and if it is evil(Eccl. 12:14). For these he will rise up and reward them, and their reward on their head will reward(Sir. 17:19). Do not think that I, speaking of judgment, inspire false fear, like nurses, who, in order to keep children from crying, are in the habit of frightening them with fictitious stories. An unfalse doctrine speaks of judgment. So, be sure that all the deeds you have done in the course of your life will be investigated.

Who should be more afraid of the Last Judgment?

Will our future life be better than the present?

Our future life will be incomparably more excellent than the present.

“The power that sustains the life of the soul will be there, not a combination of anything solid and liquid, but knowledge of the Divine nature, communion with the true and Holy Spirit. There are neither the sorrows of orphanhood, nor the misfortunes of widowhood, nor those various diseases that torment our body. There they do not envy the happy, they do not despise the unfortunate ... There, in this people of souls, perfect justice of rights and laws and the highest peaceful freedom reign; for there everyone has what he has prepared for himself here according to his own arbitrariness and choice. And if someone, through imprudence, has prepared for himself the worst instead of the best, death is not to blame; for everyone here has the power to choose for himself what he wants. (St. Gregory of Nyssa. Sermon on the future life).

How can you help the soul of the deceased?

We can bring joy to his soul with alms, prayers, and even more so with the Bloodless Sacrifice offered for him. Although the soul of the departed is found in a temporary place, where it is held for its sins, the prayers performed by the Church for the departed can redeem it from debts, and we, sinners, can help the departed with this.

I want to be buried with honors. Is it a sin?

Saint Theophilus foresaw his death and ordered the novice to bury him in this way: tie him by the leg with a rope and drag him along the ground into a deep ravine. Before his death, he lay down on the floor, on the mat and said: “I rejoice in you, Holy Angels, I rejoice in you, Most Holy Theotokos, I rejoice in you, all the saints,” and he died. This example teaches us not to worry about a magnificent funeral, but rather to try to do more good deeds during our lifetime.

Should sprinkle St. body and coffin of the deceased with water?

In the Orthodox burial rite we read: a priest (or if not, then a layman) at home sprinkles St. the body of the dead man and his ark from without and from within with water, and immediately puts (the body) into it.

On Spiritual Reading and Understanding

Holy Scripture

Now there are a lot of Orthodox literature. What kind of literature is better to read in order to avoid mistakes and misconceptions (theological, modern, patristic, etc.), or is it generally better to limit yourself to reading the Holy Scriptures?

Holy Scripture was written by the Holy Spirit through the prophets and apostles, and the same Holy Spirit through St. Fathers explained to us how to understand him correctly. All heretical beliefs have come from a misunderstanding of Holy Scripture. Only one St. The Fathers correctly explain Holy Scripture to us.

How should Scripture be interpreted?

“Do not dare to interpret the Gospel and other books of Holy Scripture yourself. The Holy Spirit interpreted it through St. fathers. And there is the word of God, the word of salvation, for impudent interpreters of his will into death, a double-edged sword with which they will stab themselves into eternal perdition,” St. Ignatius Brianchaninov tells us. Holy Scripture can be rightly understood only by the pure in heart; they understand the will and intention of God in Scripture, and for people with a heart uncleansed from passions, it will serve as a stumbling block. Therefore, we need to read the works of the Holy Fathers, in which they explain the meaning of Holy Scripture.

What, in particular, can be advised to read for novice Orthodox?

Law of God, interpretation of the Holy Gospel, instructions on spiritual life.

The books "Christian's Companion", "Spiritual Flower Garden", "School of Piety", "Spiritual Crops", "Prologue" by Priest Guryev.

Some have the opinion that reading spiritual books can replace church services. Is it so?

Reading God's word is like bread, and prayer is like living water for the soul. Can bread replace water, or can water replace bread? Need one or the other.

great old man, Saint Ambrose Optinsky replied to the same statement: “You don’t understand, but the demons understand perfectly and run away. Read until you understand, but someday you will begin to understand.

Did Jesus Christ change the law given by God to Moses? Actually, I find the answer to this question in the Bible in the Holy Gospel from Matthew: ch. 15, Art. 17: “Think not that I have come to destroy the law or the prophets. I have come not to destroy, but to fulfill.” Why do churches venerate Sunday - the first day of the week, and not Saturday - the seventh day, as God commanded us?

Reading the Gospel carefully, you will see that many provisions of the Old Testament (the Mosaic Law) evoked a special attitude towards them from Jesus Christ. See how He reproved the Pharisees and lawyers for their outward respect for the rites and laws of Moses. When He said that He came to fulfill the law, the Savior immediately explained how these laws should be kept. “You have heard,” He said, “what was said to the ancients: do not commit adultery. But I tell you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust is already committing adultery with her in his heart,” etc. In addition, from the book of the Acts of the Apostles, we know how the apostle Peter had a vision of food, which, according to the Mosaic law, was forbidden to be accepted as unclean. However, the apostle was told: “What God has cleansed, do not call unclean” (see ch. 10 of the Acts of the Apostles). One can cite many more places from the Holy Scriptures, the New Testament, where it is said that many provisions of the Old Testament are not obligatory for Christians. We know from church history that already in the 1st century, Christians gathered to pray not on the Sabbath day, but on the weekday, i.e. on the day of the Resurrection of Christ from the dead, because this event has become central for every believer in Christ: If Christ is not risen, then our faith is in vain, and our confession is in vain,- Apostle Paul wrote to the Christians of Corinth (1 Cor. 15:14). Therefore, Saturday was replaced by Sunday.

Is there any literature that describes what each icon means? What does the icon of the Mother of God “Hodegetria”, “Vladimirskaya”, etc. mean? Is there an icon "Kazanskaya"? My nephew was born on July 21 - at Kazanskaya, he was recently baptized, he will be 24 years old; I advise you to buy him the Kazan icon. Am I right?

The icons of the Mother of God are reported quite fully in a book called "Earthly Life Holy Mother of God and description of her miraculous icons”, - it is constantly reprinted by the Blagovest publishing house. "Hodegetria" in Greek means "Guide". According to legend, the "Vladimir" icon was painted by the holy apostle and evangelist Luke, brought to us from Byzantium. Initially, it was located in the city of Vladimir (hence the name), then it was moved to Moscow. Here many miracles were performed by her. In particular, she saved Moscow from the attack of Tamerlane. Currently located in the Tretyakov Gallery. The Patriarchate petitions for this image to take its former place in the Dormition Cathedral of the Kremlin. The "Kazan" icon was found near the city of Kazan. Was in the army of Minin and Pozharsky during the liberation of Moscow. A very revered All-Russian shrine. It will be nice if you give it to your nephew.

Why doesn't the word "hell" appear anywhere in the Bible?

You have been misinformed. "Hell" occurs repeatedly in the Bible. "Hell" (Heb. sheol) found in the book of Genesis (37, 35), in the book of Numbers (16, 30-33), in the book of Psalms (15, 10), etc. In literal translation from Greek, hell means a place devoid of light. In Christian teaching, this word means spiritual prison, i.e. the state of spirits, alienated by sin from the contemplation of God and the light and blessedness united with Him (see Jude 1:6).

Christianity has always maintained and still maintains that God is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living(Luke 20:38). F. M. Dostoevsky wrote in his diary: “Without faith in one’s soul, in its immortality, the existence of a person is unnatural, unthinkable, unbearable.” If there is no afterlife, then our whole life is meaningless. Many modern scientists not only recognize the afterlife, but even deal with the problems of immortality, exploring the experience of people who have experienced clinical death.

How to understand that in one place in the Bible it is written: “I punish the children for the sins of the fathers until the fourth generation”, and in another, that children do not bear the responsibility for the sins of the fathers?

The answer to your question is given in the 18th chapter of the book of the prophet Ezekiel. Read the Bible carefully; there are more explanations.

Why are there such contradictions: “love one another” and “blessed are the peacemakers”, and in another place: “I did not bring peace to you, but a sword”, “I came to restore a person against his father, a daughter against her mother, etc. "?

Yes, Christianity is a religion of love, and it is not the fault of Jesus Christ that many could not accept His creed. Himself, who had no sin, was given over to torture and a shameful death on the Cross. In the words, "It is not peace that I bring to you, but a sword," He foretold how the world would often hate all those who believe in Him. And it is not the fault of the martyrs who believe in Christ that even their parents tortured them (see the life of St. Barbara the Great Martyr), but the misfortune of the tormentors that they did not accept this teaching of love and wished to destroy it by force.

How to understand the word “blessed”, namely “blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven”? What are the poor in spirit and why?

"Blessed" means happy. Happy are the poor in spirit - these are people who realize that they are only at the beginning of a spiritual movement towards the Kingdom of Heaven, realize that they have a lack of their own strength to achieve spiritual deeds and they need Divine help. Such people always strive for the ideal of holiness. They are alien to the Pharisaic self-satisfaction, which gives rise to inertia and stagnation and the end of perfection. Therefore, the "poor in spirit" are not far from reaching the Kingdom of Heaven, and this is the greatest happiness.

I heard that the Bible said: "Drink from your vessel, and you will live long and not get sick." But for some reason I didn't read it in the Bible. The fact is that I am treated with urine - my legs hurt. Am I doing the right thing? My Bible is American, canonical, in translation, but the cross on the cover is non-Christian. Maybe you shouldn't read it, or are they basically the same?

The text of the Bible goes like this: Drink water from your reservoir and flowing from your well ... Blessed be your spring - and take comfort in the wife of your youth(Proverbs of Solomon, ch. 5, verses 15-20). This book is not in your Bible because your Bible contains only canonical books. You can read it, but it lacks eleven books. Today there are new translations, at least of the New Testament, of the Gospel, which put believers into doubt. There really are texts that the Orthodox do not accept. Therefore, try to acquire a Bible that is printed from a text approved by the Holy Synod.

Why is one of the four Gospels given the genealogy of Christ according to Joseph, while it is believed that Jesus was born from Mary without a male seed and, therefore, the genealogy should be described by Mary, and not by Joseph?

The Gospel of Luke does say that Jesus "was supposed to be the son of Joseph." However, in the Alexandrian Code - the text - an explanation of this genealogy is given: "And there was (more precisely being) a son, as Josephov believed - (in fact) - Iliev." But who is Eli? According to the most likely assumption, it was the father of the Blessed Virgin Mary. She herself, according to Jewish custom, is not included in the number of members of the genealogy of Christ, but it was very important for the evangelist to point out that Christ in the flesh was the real descendant of David, which he does, giving the genealogy of Mary's father and showing that Mary really descended from David . The Evangelist Luke thus leads the genealogy of Christ through His maternal grandfather and in ascending order. Since the tradition calls the father of Mary not Eli, but Joachim, then in order to explain this, we can recall the custom of the Jews to have two names - one given at birth, and the other, adopted on the occasion of some extraordinary event in a person’s life (see Explanatory Bible ).

In the Old Testament we read: “And Cain departed from the presence of the Lord and dwelt in the land of Nod, in the east of Eden. And Cain knew his wife: and she conceived and bare Enoch. And he built a city: and he called the city after the name of his son Enoch” (Genesis, ch. 4, 16-17). My question is, "Who is Cain's wife? If she was the daughter of Adam and Eve and her name is not mentioned, then how did the problem of incest not arise?

Cain's wife was indeed the daughter of Adam and Eve. In the first centuries after the creation of man, the question of incest did not arise, because the main commandment was the reproduction of the human race. St. John Chrysostom and Blessed Theodoret also speak of this. With the multiplication of the human race, the need for marriages in close relationship disappears. And in the law of Moses, it is already considered a great sin (see the book of Deuteronomy, 27 chapters, and the book of Leviticus, 18 chapters). Although the story of Lot tells how his daughters entered their father by deception and conceived by him, the interpreters of the Bible say that they did this because they believed that all mankind had perished, and they did this not for the satisfaction of passion, but for the sake of continuation of the human race.

Could you interpret church pronunciations in the Psalter, for example, priest, troparia, ikos, irmos, clerics?

In modern prayer books, short dictionaries are quite often placed, where you can find a translation of incomprehensible words. I recommend purchasing Dahl's Dictionary of the Russian Language. Priest - priest (Greek), bishop - senior priest or bishop. A troparion is a short hymn dedicated to a holiday or a saint. Kontakion and ikos are also special chants, only kontakion is shorter and ikos is longer. Kontakion is the theme, and ikos is the development of the theme. Akathists are composed of kontakia and ikos - more extensive church hymns dedicated to holidays, icons, etc. Irmos - Greek name songs of the canon (literal translation - I connect, I connect). Irmos is the model according to which all other troparia of the same song are composed. Knowing the melody of the irmos, one can always sing all the troparia correctly; that is why the irmos is supposed to be at the beginning of every song of the canon. Clerics (Church Slav.), Clerics (from the word clergy) - ministers of the church.

Do I take sin upon my soul? I collect books, but I have very little time to read. I work, farm, garden in the summer - and before retirement they still have a long time to lie.

Although it is very difficult to live today and there is not always time to read, but if we abandon our spiritual life before retirement, this is where we really sin, because the Lord did not promise any of us that we would live tomorrow. He said that he would accept our repentance at any moment. But we impoverish ourselves very much by not reading anything. Indeed, even the rules of a Christian include not only the reading of prayers, but also spiritual reading. The time of fasting is the time when we especially need to intensify our spiritual exercises, including the reading of the New Testament and other spiritual books.

What books of the Church are related to the Holy Scriptures?

Explain how to understand the gospel words: “Whoever is ashamed of me in this adulterous generation, of him I will be ashamed”? If I am ashamed to cross myself (to the temple, when I sit down to eat, start off, etc.), is it about me?

Yes, we should not be ashamed to confess the name of Christ with the sign of the cross; non-removal pectoral cross in a public bath or going to the doctor; conversations about the holy and good; we should not be shamefully silent when the Orthodox faith is trampled upon, and we are often ashamed to profess faith in Christ because of the insignificant customs of the world, out of cowardly fear of being known among our acquaintances as backward, fanatics, as people of this world usually call those who want to treat honestly with their Christian duties; should not be afraid to cross themselves before and after dinner, reverently bare their heads, passing near the temple, ashamed to decorate their dwellings with St. icons.

In order for the reading of the Holy Scriptures to be useful, one must: 1) before reading, invoke the grace of the Holy Spirit to help oneself; 2) read slowly, repeating several times what is incomprehensible to you; 3) do not try to read a lot at once; 4) beware of reading a variety of books.

Do not neglect the psalms, because they drive away evil spirits from the soul and infuse the Holy Spirit into it. “By reading the Psalter and alms the soul is cleansed of sins,” said the recluse Georgy Zadonsky.

The lives of the saints are better for beginners; paternal writings - for the average; God's word is for the perfect. Before reading, one must abolish the soul from everything, turn prayerfully to God. Read with attention and put in the heart. What has not reached the heart, stay on it until it comes. You must read very slowly. To stop reading when the soul does not want to feed on reading already - it means that it is full. If any place strikes the soul, stand on it and read no further. Best time for the word of God - in the morning, the lives of the saints - in the afternoon, St. fathers - shortly before going to bed. There are such texts of Holy Scripture that warm the spirit, act on the heart and cause emotion and tears. Such places should be written out and stored in case of need, for excitation
(Elder Adrian Yugsky).

Is it necessary every time to listen to the word of God, the teachings anew, for I listen, and do not fulfill; not doing what it teaches?

“Listen, even if you don’t do it, because from listening it comes to doing. Even though you didn’t do it, you will be ashamed of your sin; even though you didn’t do it, you will change your mindset; even though you didn’t do it, you will condemn yourself for what you don’t do.” (St. John Chrysostom)

How to understand the apostolic words: “Judgment is without mercy to him who has not shown mercy”?

Fr. came to me at night. Nikita, who recently died, - said the Valaam elder, - and I ask him:

And how did you, father, go through the trials? - Oh, it's hard on the ordeals for all people - he answered. - Well, whoever is kind and merciful, then the court to him in the ordeals is indulgent, and whoever is evil and cruel, fierce and malicious judges are delivered to him. Whoever lives and passes his life on earth, so everyone there asks about his deeds and life on earth.
Is it useful to read Holy Scripture?

"Reading the Scriptures is a great defense against sin" (St. Epiphanius of Cyprus).

Is it necessary to buy spiritual literature?

“The acquisition of Christian books for those who have the means to such an acquisition is necessary; one sight of these books stops in us the desire for sin, excites in us the desire for virtue. (St. Epiphanius of Cyprus).

Good Friday is the most mournful day before Easter. After all, it was on this day that Jesus Christ was betrayed, and he was crucified. This whole day is dedicated to prayers and mourning for the dead Jesus. After the morning service, the shroud is brought out. This is a board, which depicts Christ in the tomb in real size. She (the shroud) is installed in the center of the temple and decorated with flowers and blown with incense. On this day, it is forbidden to carry out any work and eat food until the shroud is taken out.

The answer to the question of whether it is possible to bury the deceased on Good Friday is ambiguous. Of course, according to Christian canons, there is no such prohibition, and if the funeral of an Orthodox falls on this particular day, then they should take place. Funeral homes are always working and such worldly affairs as a holiday are not a hindrance for them.

Another issue is the possibility of inviting the priest to the funeral service. After all, preparatory work and prayer services are going on in the church before Easter Sunday. Therefore, it would be better to go to your church monastery and find out for sure whether the priest will be able to conduct a funeral ceremony.

What if a person is buried on Good Friday?

As a rule, at Orthodox people the funeral must be on the third day after death. And if that day falls on Good Friday, then there is nothing criminal in it. But if possible, it will be possible to bury the deceased not on Good Friday, but one or two days earlier. Again, this is due to the employment of church employees on the eve of Easter. On Good Friday, you may no longer be able to invite a priest for the funeral.

But if you want to observe all the canons and endure three days before the funeral, or if you need to wait for distant relatives, then people are buried on Good Friday. The main thing is to find out in advance how they treat this in your temple.

What is the good will to die? How to explain the mystery of clinical death? Why do the dead come to the living? Is it possible to give and receive permission to die? We are publishing excerpts from a speech at a seminar held in Moscow by Andrey Gnezdilov, psychotherapist, Dr. medical sciences, Honorary Doctor of the University of Essex (Great Britain), founder of the first hospice in Russia, inventor of new methods of art therapy and author of numerous books.

Death is part of life

In everyday life, when we talk to someone we know and he says: “You know, so-and-so died,” the usual reaction to this is the question: how did he die? It is very important how a person dies. Death is important for a person's sense of self. It is not only negative.

If we look at life philosophically, we know that there is no life without death, the concept of life can only be evaluated from the standpoint of death.

I once had to communicate with artists and sculptors, and I asked them: “You depict various aspects of a person’s life, you can depict love, friendship, beauty, but how would you depict death?” And no one gave a clear answer right away.

One sculptor who immortalized the siege of Leningrad promised to think about it. And shortly before his death, he answered me this way: "I would depict death in the image of Christ." I asked: "Is Christ crucified?" “No, the ascension of Christ.”

One German sculptor depicted a flying angel, the shadow of whose wings was death. When a person fell into this shadow, he fell into the power of death. Another sculptor depicted death in the form of two boys: one boy sits on a stone with his head on his knees, he is all directed downwards.

In the hands of the second boy, a flute, his head thrown back, he is all directed after the motive. And the explanation of this sculpture was as follows: it is impossible to depict death without accompanying life, and life without death.

Death is a natural process. Many writers tried to portray life as immortal, but it was a terrible, terrible immortality. What is endless life - endless repetition of earthly experience, stoppage of development or endless aging? It is difficult even to imagine the painful state of a person who is immortal.

Death is a reward, a respite, it is abnormal only when it comes suddenly, when a person is still on the rise, full of strength. And old people want to die. Some old women ask: "Here, it's healed, it's time to die." And the patterns of death that we read about in the literature, when death befell the peasants, were of a normative nature.

When a villager felt that he could no longer work as before, that he was becoming a burden on the family, he would go to the bathhouse, put on clean clothes, lie down under the icon, say goodbye to neighbors and relatives, and die in peace. His death came without the pronounced suffering that occurs when a person struggles with death.

The peasants knew that life is not a dandelion flower that has grown, blossomed and scattered under the wind. Life has a deep meaning.

This example of the death of peasants dying, giving themselves permission to die, is not a feature of those people, we can find similar examples today. Once a cancer patient came to us. A former military man, he behaved well and joked: "I went through three wars, pulled death by the mustache, and now it's time for her to pull me."

Of course, we supported him, but suddenly one day he could not get out of bed, and he took it quite unambiguously: "That's it, I'm dying, I can't get up anymore." We told him: "Don't worry, it's a metastasis, people with spinal metastases live a long time, we'll take care of you, you'll get used to it." “No, no, this is death, I know.”

And, imagine, in a few days he dies, having no physiological prerequisites for this. He dies because he chose to die. This means that this good will for death or some kind of projection of death takes place in reality.

It is necessary to give life a natural demise, because death is programmed at the moment of conception of a person. A kind of experience of death is acquired by a person in childbirth, at the moment of birth. When you deal with this problem, you can see how intelligently life is built. As a person is born, so he dies, easily born - easy to die, hard to be born - hard to die.

And the day of death of a person is also not accidental, like the day of birth. Statisticians are the first to raise this issue by discovering the frequent coincidence of people's date of death and date of birth. Or, when we remember some significant anniversaries of the death of our relatives, it suddenly turns out that the grandmother died - a granddaughter was born. This transmission to generations and the non-randomness of the day of death and birthday is striking.

Clinical death or another life?

Not a single sage has yet understood what death is, what happens at the time of death. Such a stage as clinical death is left almost without attention. A person falls into a coma, his breathing stops, his heart stops, but unexpectedly for himself and for others, he comes back to life and tells amazing stories.

Natalya Petrovna Bekhtereva recently died. At one time, we often argued, I told cases of clinical death that were in my practice, and she said that this was all nonsense, that changes were simply taking place in the brain, and so on. And once I gave her an example, which she then began to use and tell herself.

I worked for 10 years at the Oncological Institute as a psychotherapist, and one day I was called to a young woman. During the operation, her heart stopped, they could not start it for a long time, and when she woke up, I was asked to see if her psyche had changed due to the long oxygen starvation of the brain.

I came to the intensive care unit, she was just coming to her senses. I asked: "Can you talk to me?" - "Yes, but I would like to apologize to you, I caused you so much trouble", - "What trouble?", - "Well, how about it. My heart stopped, I experienced such stress, and I saw that for doctors it was also a lot of stress.”

I was surprised: “How could you see this if you were in a state of deep drugged sleep, and then your heart stopped?” “Doctor, I would tell you much more if you promise not to send me to a psychiatric hospital.”

And she told the following: when she plunged into a drug-induced sleep, she suddenly felt that it was as if a soft blow to her feet made something inside her turn, like a screw is turned out. She had the feeling that the soul turned inside out, and went out into some kind of foggy space.

Looking closer, she saw a group of doctors bending over the body. She thought: what a familiar face this woman has! And then she suddenly remembered that it was herself. Suddenly a voice was heard: "Immediately stop the operation, the heart has stopped, you need to start it."

She thought that she had died and remembered with horror that she had not said goodbye to either her mother or her five-year-old daughter. Anxiety for them literally pushed her in the back, she flew out of the operating room and in an instant found herself in her apartment.

She saw a rather peaceful scene - the girl was playing with dolls, her grandmother, her mother, was sewing something. There was a knock at the door, and a neighbor, Lidia Stepanovna, came in. In her hands was a small polka-dot dress. “Mashenka,” the neighbor said, “you tried all the time to be like your mother, so I sewed for you the same dress as your mother.”

The girl happily rushed to her neighbor, touched the tablecloth on the way, an old cup fell, and a teaspoon fell under the carpet. Noise, the girl is crying, the grandmother exclaims: “Masha, how awkward you are,” Lidia Stepanovna says that the dishes are beating fortunately - a common situation.

And the girl's mother, forgetting about herself, went up to her daughter, stroked her head and said: "Masha, this is not the worst grief in life." Mashenka looked at her mother, but, not seeing her, turned away. And suddenly, this woman realized that when she touched the girl's head, she did not feel this touch. Then she rushed to the mirror, and in the mirror she did not see herself.

In horror, she remembered that she had to be in the hospital, that her heart had stopped. She rushed out of the house and found herself in the operating room. And then she heard a voice: “The heart started, we are doing an operation, but rather, because there may be a second cardiac arrest.”

After listening to this woman, I said: “Don’t you want me to come to your house and tell your family that everything is in order, they can see you?” She happily agreed.

I went to the address given to me, my grandmother opened the door, I told how the operation went, and then asked: “Tell me, did your neighbor Lidia Stepanovna come to you at half past eleven?” know her?”, “Didn’t she bring a dress with polka dots?”, “Are you a magician, doctor?”

I keep asking, and everything came together to the details, except for one thing - the spoon was not found. Then I say: “Did you look under the carpet?” They pick up the carpet and there is a spoon.

This story had a great effect on Bekhtereva. And then she herself had a similar experience. In one day, she lost both her stepson and her husband, both committed suicide. For her, it was a terrible stress. And then one day, entering the room, she saw her husband, and he turned to her with some words.

She, an excellent psychiatrist, decided that these were hallucinations, returned to another room and asked her relative to see what was in that room. She came up, looked in and recoiled: “Yes, your husband is there!” Then she did what her husband asked, making sure that such cases were not fiction.

She told me: “No one knows the brain better than me (Bekhtereva was the director of the Institute of the Human Brain in St. Petersburg). And I have a feeling that I am standing in front of some huge wall, behind which I hear voices, and I know that there is a wonderful and huge world, but I cannot convey to others what I see and hear. Because in order for it to be scientifically sound, everyone has to repeat my experience.”

Once I was sitting next to a dying patient. I put the music box, which played a touching melody, then asked: "Turn it off, is it bothering you?" - "No, let it play." Suddenly her breathing stopped, the relatives rushed: "Do something, she is not breathing."

I rashly gave her an injection of adrenaline, and she again came to her senses, turned to me: “Andrei Vladimirovich, what was that?” “You know, it was clinical death.” She smiled and said: “No, life!”

What is the state into which the brain passes during clinical death? After all, death is death. We fix death when we see that breathing has stopped, the heart has stopped, the brain does not work, it cannot perceive information and, moreover, send it out.

So the brain is only a transmitter, but is there something deeper, stronger in a person? And here we are faced with the concept of the soul. After all, this concept is almost supplanted by the concept of the psyche. The psyche is there, but the soul is not.

How would you like to die?

We asked both the healthy and the sick: "How would you like to die?". And people with certain characterological qualities built a model of death in their own way.

People with a schizoid type of character, such as Don Quixote, characterized their desire rather strangely: "We would like to die so that no one around could see my body."

Epileptoids - they considered it unthinkable for themselves to lie quietly and wait for death to come, they should have been able to somehow participate in this process.

Cycloids - people like Sancho Panza, would like to die surrounded by relatives. Psychosthenics are anxious and suspicious people, worried about how they will look when they die. The hysteroids wanted to die at sunrise or sunset, on the seashore, in the mountains.

I compared these desires, but I remember the words of one monk who said this: “I don’t care what will surround me, what will be the situation around me. It is important for me that I die during prayer, thanking God that He sent me life, and I saw the power and beauty of His creation.”

Heraclitus of Ephesus said: “A man on his deathly night kindles a light for himself; and he is not dead, putting out his eyes, but alive; but he comes into contact with the dead - dozing, awake - comes into contact with the dormant, ”is a phrase over which you can puzzle almost all your life.

Being in contact with the patient, I could arrange with him that when he died, he would try to let me know if there was something behind the coffin or not. And I got this answer, more than once.

Once I made an agreement with one woman, she died, and I soon forgot about our agreement. And then one day, when I was in the country, I suddenly woke up from the fact that the light came on in the room. I thought I forgot to turn off the light, but then I saw that the same woman was sitting on the bed opposite me. I was delighted, started talking to her, and suddenly I remembered - she died!

I thought that I was dreaming all this, turned away and tried to fall asleep in order to wake up. After a while, I raised my head. The light was on again, I looked around in horror - she was still sitting on the bed and looking at me. I want to say something, I can't - horror. I realized that in front of me was a dead person. And suddenly she, smiling sadly, said: "But this is not a dream."

Why do I give such examples? Because the uncertainty of what awaits us makes us return to the old principle: "Do no harm." That is, “do not rush death” is the most powerful argument against euthanasia. To what extent do we have the right to interfere with the state that the patient is experiencing? How can we hasten his death when he is perhaps experiencing the most brilliant life at this moment?

Quality of life and permission to die

It is not the number of days that we have lived that matters, but the quality. And what gives the quality of life? The quality of life makes it possible to be without pain, the ability to control one's consciousness, the opportunity to be surrounded by relatives and families.

Why is it important to communicate with relatives? Because children often repeat the story of the life of their parents or relatives. Sometimes in the details, it's amazing. And this repetition of life is often also a repetition of death.

The blessing of relatives is very important, parental blessing dying children, it can even save them later, save them from something. Again, returning to the cultural heritage of fairy tales.

Remember the plot: the old father dies, he has three sons. He asks: "After my death, go to my grave for three days." The older brothers either do not want to go or are afraid, only the younger, a fool, goes to the grave, and at the end of the third day, the father reveals some secret to him.

When a person passes away, he sometimes thinks: “Well, let me die, let me get sick, but let my relatives be healthy, let the illness end on me, I will pay the bills for the whole family.” And now, having set a goal, no matter rationally or affectively, a person receives a meaningful departure from life.

A hospice is a home that offers a quality life. Not an easy death, but a quality life. This is a place where a person can end his life meaningfully and deeply, accompanied by relatives.

When a person leaves, air does not just come out of him, like from a rubber ball, he needs to make a leap, he needs strength in order to step into the unknown. A person must allow himself this step. And he receives the first permission from relatives, then from medical personnel, from volunteers, from the priest and from himself. And this permission to die from oneself is the most difficult.

You know that Christ, before suffering and praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, asked his disciples: "Stay with me, do not sleep." Three times the disciples promised Him to stay awake, but fell asleep without providing support. So the hospice in the spiritual sense is a place where a person can ask: "Stay with me."

And if such a great personality - the Incarnate God - needed the help of a man, if He said: “I no longer call you slaves. I called you friends, ”addressing people, then follow this example and saturate with spiritual content last days the patient is very important.

Andrey Gnezdilov
Prepared the text; photo: Maria Stroganova

In everyday life, when we talk to someone we know, and he says: “You know, so-and-so died,” the usual reaction to this is a question: How died? Very important, How a person dies. Death is important for a person's sense of self. It is not only negative.

If we look at life philosophically, we know that there is no life without death, the concept of life can only be evaluated from the standpoint of death.

The second boy has a flute in his hands, his head is thrown back, he is all directed after the motive. And the explanation of this sculpture was as follows: it is impossible to depict death without accompanying life, and life without death.

Death is a reward, a respite, it is abnormal only when it comes suddenly, when a person is still on the rise, full of strength.

And old people want to die. Some old women ask: "Here, it's healed, it's time to die." And the patterns of death that we read about in the literature, when death befell the peasants, were of a normative nature.

The peasants knew that life is not a dandelion flower that has grown, blossomed and scattered under the wind. Life has a deep meaning.

Of course, we supported him, but suddenly one day he could not get out of bed and took it quite unambiguously: “That's it, I'm dying, I can't get up anymore.” We told him: "Don't worry, it's a metastasis, people with spinal metastases live a long time, we'll take care of you, you'll get used to it." “No, no, this is death, I know.”

Clinical death or another life?

Not a single sage has yet understood what death is, what happens at the time of death. Such a stage as clinical death is left practically unattended. A person falls into a coma, his breathing stops, his heart stops, but unexpectedly for himself and for others, he comes back to life and tells amazing stories.

I came to the intensive care unit, she was just coming to her senses. I asked, "Can you talk to me?" “Yes, but I would like to apologize to you for causing you so much trouble.” - "What's the trouble?" – “Well, how about it. My heart stopped, I experienced such stress, and I saw that for doctors it was also a lot of stress.”

I wondered: “How could you see this if you were in a state of deep drugged sleep, and then your heart stopped?” “Doctor, I could tell you a lot more if you promised not to send me to a psychiatric hospital.”

And she told the following: when she plunged into a drug-induced sleep, she suddenly felt that it was as if a soft blow to her feet made something inside her turn, like a screw is turned out. She had the feeling that the soul turned outward and went out into some kind of foggy space.

She thought she had died, and remembered with horror that she had not said goodbye to either her mother or her five-year-old daughter. Anxiety for them literally pushed her in the back, she flew out of the operating room and in an instant found herself in her apartment.

And the girl's mother, forgetting about herself, went up to her daughter, stroked her head and said: "Masha, this is not the worst grief in life." Mashenka looked at her mother, but, not seeing her, turned away. And suddenly this woman realized that when she touched the girl's head, she did not feel this touch. Then she rushed to the mirror and did not see herself in the mirror.

After listening to this woman, I said: “Don’t you want me to come to your house and tell your family that everything is in order, they can see you?” She happily agreed.

I went to the address given to me, my grandmother opened the door, I told how the operation went, and then asked: “Tell me, did your neighbor Lidia Stepanovna come to you at half past eleven?” - “She came, but do you know her?” “Did she bring a polka-dot dress?” “What are you, a wizard, a doctor?”

She told me: "No one knows the brain better than me (Bekhtereva was the director of the Institute of the Human Brain in St. Petersburg). And I have a feeling that I am standing in front of some kind of huge wall, behind which I hear voices, and I know that there is a wonderful and huge world, but I cannot convey to others what I see and hear. Because in order for it to be scientifically sound, everyone has to repeat my experience.”

Once I was sitting next to a dying patient. I put the music box on, which played a touching tune, then asked, "Turn it off, is it bothering you?" “No, let him play.” Suddenly her breathing stopped, the relatives rushed: "Do something, she is not breathing."

I rashly gave her an injection of adrenaline, and she again came to her senses, turned to me: “Andrei Vladimirovich, what was that?” “You know, it was clinical death.” She smiled and said: “No, life!”

How would you like to die?

We asked both the healthy and the sick, "How would you like to die?" And people with certain characterological qualities built a model of death in their own way.

People with a schizoid type of character, such as Don Quixote, characterized their desire rather strangely: "We would like to die so that no one around could see my body."

Epileptoids - they considered it unthinkable for themselves to lie quietly and wait for death to come, they should have been able to somehow participate in this process.

Cycloids - people like Sancho Panza, would like to die surrounded by relatives. Psychasthenics are anxious and suspicious people, worried about how they will look when they die. The hysteroids wanted to die at sunrise or sunset, on the seashore, in the mountains.

Being in contact with the patient, I could arrange with him that when he died, he would try to let me know if there was something behind the coffin or not. And I got this answer, more than once.

Why do I give such examples? Because the uncertainty of what awaits us makes us return to the old principle: "Do no harm."

That is, “do not rush death” is the most powerful argument against euthanasia. To what extent do we have the right to interfere with the state that the patient is experiencing?

How can we hasten his death when he is perhaps experiencing the most brilliant life at this moment?

Quality of life and permission to die

The blessing of relatives is very important, the parental blessing of a dying child to children, it can even save them later, save them from something. Again, returning to the cultural heritage of fairy tales.

When a person passes away, he sometimes thinks: “Well, let me die, let me get sick, but let my relatives be healthy, let the illness end on me, I will pay the bills for the whole family.” And now, having set a goal, no matter whether rationally or affectively, a person receives a meaningful departure from life.

A hospice is a home that offers a quality life. Not an easy death, but a quality life. This is a place where a person can end his life meaningfully and deeply, accompanied by relatives.

When a person leaves, air does not just come out of him, like from a rubber ball, he needs to make a leap, he needs strength in order to step into the unknown. A person must allow himself this step.

And he receives the first permission from his relatives, then from the medical staff, from volunteers, from the priest and from himself. And this permission to die from oneself is the most difficult.

You know that Christ, before suffering and praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, asked His disciples: "Stay with Me, do not sleep." Three times the disciples promised Him to stay awake, but fell asleep without providing support. So, in a spiritual sense, a hospice is a place where a person can ask: "Stay with me."

And if such a great personality - the Incarnate God - needed the help of a man, if He said: “I no longer call you slaves. I called you friends, ”addressing people, then following this example and saturating the last days of the patient with spiritual content is very important.

If you care about life and death,