A marriage is falling apart: step-by-step advice for him and for her. If it came to divorce: how to save a relationship and save a family More sex and romance
A marriage can break down for many reasons: after the birth of a child, financial problems or misunderstandings. When it comes to divorce, the parties may want to keep the family together, but it's hard to do so after the experience. Negative moments will pop up in my head all the time, who said and did what. Before filing for divorce, the psychologist recommends trying to get the relationship back, redirecting it in the right direction, discouraging the partner from going to court, and gives specific advice on how to save the marriage.
Why do people get divorced?
Any psychologist will say that ideal family relationships cannot be a priori. Two people who spend a lot of time together cannot avoid quarrels, insults or litigation, even if they love each other. Sometimes there are crises, here it is necessary to understand how to save the family from divorce in such cases.
It is more important not to save your marriage, but to prevent the events that precede the separation. To understand how to avoid divorce, you need to figure out why it is approaching.
According to statistics in Russia, couples diverge most often for the following reasons:
- Alcoholism. Many suffer from a passion for alcoholic beverages, but not everyone is ready to endure a partner's alcoholism. Often, spouses break up immediately after the first relapse of the disease, without trying to change the situation.
- Poverty. Family relationships require large investments, the need for which is increasing. This is connected with the housing issue, the birth of a child, with the possibilities of the family. It's hard to prevent problems. Due to lack of finances, most often they leave the wife's family.
- Treason. Infidelity of spouses can be associated with many troubles in family life: scandals, lack of attention and intimacy. If one spouse has gone to another person, then it is not worth maintaining such a relationship, to dissuade him from getting a divorce after such a betrayal is not the best way out of the situation.
If the cause of the conflict is everyday life, then couples usually endure such troubles, after quarrels they prefer to make peace and family relationships continue. But such spouses are looking for a reason to leave, so it is important to understand what to do and how to save the family from divorce, if one of the couple has been thinking about it for a long time. Relatives, problems with the birth of children, diseases (spouses, children) can affect relationships. And in such cases, many do not understand how to save the marriage and reconcile, because they do not see solutions to these problems.
Often after the birth of children, passion fades. Financial problems, fatigue and lack of sleep begin. Because of this, some may want to run away immediately after having children. It is possible to survive such a crisis, relationships can be restored. The main thing to understand is that after the birth of a child, you are considered a full-fledged family, and all troubles can be corrected.
Not all spouses need to be given a second chance - in many cases divorce is inevitable. But if a husband loves his wife, and she loves him, then you need to maintain a relationship. Feelings should not be allowed to suffer because of minor troubles, and if they are, then both in a couple will have a desire to improve.
After the birth of a child, many things in the family change, a crisis may occur. Not all spouses survive it, many give up. Preserving relationships is necessary for the child: after the divorce of his parents, his life will not change for the better. At the same time, it should not be the only reason why spouses are together. Many say: “I don’t want to divorce my wife because of the children, otherwise I would have left long ago.”
Such relationships over time can lead to unhappiness, aggression and even domestic violence. And for a child, such a family will be a worse option than divorced parents.
If both want to keep the relationship
There are times when people just can't be together and decide to file for divorce. One loves the other, but the situation in the relationship leaves much to be desired. They do not know how to avoid divorce and improve relationships, but they understand what it is for.
The help of a family psychologist can solve the problem. In the West, it is customary to contact such specialists regularly, while in our country few people are in a hurry to talk with a doctor “about personal matters”. A psychologist will be able to quickly find all the hidden relationship problems, give the necessary advice, and dissuade them from divorce. It will be much easier to reconcile if the couple is helped by an expert in their field.
If you do not talk to each other, then reconcile and restore relations will not work. If your husband wants to divorce you, do not be silent, but do not throw reproaches at him, but try to find out the reason for such a decision, listen to everything he said, speak for yourself.
In times of crisis, nothing good comes to mind. Therefore, you need to literally force yourself to remember the best moments in this marriage: the first date, the wedding, the birth of a child, a joint vacation. During conflicts, who loves whom is forgotten, anger and aggression come to the fore.
Important! Often, when it is decided to file for divorce, spouses discuss the process with friends and relatives who may have subjective opinions about the situation and give the wrong advice. It is necessary to resolve family conflicts and put an end to it, discussing problems with each other, asking only your husband (wife) and yourself. The spouses themselves know best how to avoid divorce.
Many argue that prayer can save a marriage. Indeed, if one of the couple left, then you can ask God for his return. If you do not know how to avoid divorce and reconcile, then turning to the Almighty will help to positively influence the development of relationships. You can do this on any day of the week both at home and in church.
You should not go to fortune tellers - it's not a fact that they know how to save a marriage. To charm, dissuade and speak is not the same as prayer. In addition, there is a fairly large chance to stumble upon a charlatan and lose a large amount of money - it is better to spend it on an appointment with a family psychologist.
If one spouse wants a divorce
Dear readers! Our articles talk about typical ways to resolve legal issues, but each case is unique. If you want to know how to solve your particular problem, please use the online consultant form on the right or call the free hotline:8 800 350-13-94 - For Russian regions
8 499 938-42-45 - Moscow and Moscow region.
8 812 425-64-57 - St. Petersburg and Leningrad region.
When a wife does not know how to improve relations with her husband on the verge of divorce, she can seek the help of a psychologist. But often men make decisions that they don’t want to discuss, they say, “I said so, got ready and left.” The stronger sex, in principle, does not like to go to the doctor, and may refuse to visit a psychotherapist. A session of a psychologist in any case will help at least one: the therapist can find the cause and protect against future mistakes, make the patient understand himself.
There are times when a divorce falls short because of resentment. At the same time, the initiator of the divorce may not mind restoring relations, but an unpleasant aftertaste remains. If there is something - always apologize and be aware of your mistakes. Then you can easily save the marriage, make peace and live a happy family.
Important! Many people try to put pressure before a divorce so that their spouse does not leave: with health, tears, threats, pity, refer to the child. Even if such a marriage continues, there is little chance of living a happy past life, since relationships based on threats or pity cannot be successful.
If you do not know how to convince your husband not to divorce and what to do next, then it is better to consult a psychologist than to threaten and put pressure on your spouse.
Relationship Recovery Stages
Important! At first, try not to demand that your spouse stay, but simply dissuade him from submitting documents before you personally resolve the conflict.
- Deal with conflicts. Analyze the situation on the shelves, understand why the spouse left and explain. You need to give your spouse the opportunity to speak out and explain himself.
- Understand why you need marriage. Discuss it, imagine the family in the future, understand first of all for yourself why this relationship is needed. If necessary, you need to give time to think about the future for yourself and your spouse.
- Everyone starts with themselves. If you know why the spouse left, then try to prevent a repetition of the situation in the future. If the problem is serious, then a good psychologist can help solve it.
- Bring positivity into your life. Say nice things, go for walks, try to do things together. Make your partner's wish come true - go on vacation where your spouse wants, celebrate his birthday in a big way, cook special dishes, buy your favorite perfume.
Prayer for the preservation of marriage
God must be asked to return the husband to the family to all its members, including the child. It is important to ask the Almighty so that you can understand how to save a marriage, measure yourself, how to convince your husband not to divorce, how to restore a warm relationship, why he left and what to do next. Prayer should carry a powerful energy message, be as sincere as possible.
Important! Prayer from the lips of spouses can be heard both at home and in a church or temple. The main thing is the sincerity of thoughts and thoughts.
It is possible to return a spouse who left. This requires introspection, a clear understanding of the problem, the ability to yield and listen, prayer will help someone. But it is also important to decide for yourself whether you need this relationship, whether you need to make peace or whether your spouse really left for good reason.
Attention! Due to recent changes in legislation, the legal information in this article may be out of date! Our lawyer can advise you free of charge - write a question in the form below:
Even if divorce from your husband seems inevitable, you can still save the relationship—and you don't have to drag your spouse to a therapist to do so. All you need is a push to change - and a little time. This is exactly what happens in families that have gone through a divorce, and then resumed relationships: the strongest shock prompts a woman to change - and a man reacts to this. Don't believe?
One day, 16 years ago, my husband Paul came home in the evening only to announce the breakup to me. He declared that our relationship was over, and resolutely headed for the door. And, you know, I was not surprised that my husband decided to leave. In those days, everything between us could not have been worse, suffice it to say that he called me the Snow Queen. However, I reacted very strangely.
After his words happened to me. Before this incident, I had not cried for ten years, and this pissed me off. I heard from someone that some people break up when a serious relationship breaks up, while others open up. The second must have happened to me, because due to the intensity of pain and despair, I felt such a surge of love for Paul that I had never experienced before.
Before, when I listened to love songs, I always considered them to be just poetry that had nothing to do with real life. And then I suddenly realized that such love for another person can actually be felt and that this is exactly what I feel for Paul. A new, unaccustomed fear seized me - the fear of missing out on the chance to experience such love again because I had made so many mistakes.
And then, not yet having the skills to maintain relationships, I did the only thing I could think of at that moment - I asked Paul to give us a second chance. I said that everything he said about me and our relationship was true. I said I didn't know if I could fix it, but I would do everything in my power to at least find out if it was possible.
I asked him for another chance. Thank God Paul decided to give it to us that evening.
As a personal development oriented person, I immersed myself in learning everything that mankind knows about men, women, relationships and intimacy, and was shocked to the core by learning how much bad things were in my relationship with Paul because I didn't understand how men are made. I also found that my habit of relying on anyone but myself cut me off from what I most wanted in the world from my husband.
And I have changed. I found ways to interact with Paul that were gender sensitive and brought out the best in him and me.
The most amazing thing is that during that period Paul did not read books about relationships with me and did not go through any programs, I did it alone. And yet he, too, was changing, in response to the changes taking place in me.
About a year later, noticing my transformation, Paul asked what I was reading and what he should learn, as he was very inspired by the change in me. It made him feel like a better man than before, he said, and now he wanted to do his part too.
It doesn't take two to dance
So, only one partner can change the relationship! And this is very good news, because in my experience, two people in a relationship are rarely equally ready to change anything at the same time. Most often, either one is not satisfied with the relationship, and the second thinks that everything is in order, or both admit that things are not going too well, and one wants to change something, and the second refuses to take part in this. All this puts people in front of a difficult dilemma: to calm down and be content with relationships without joy, or to undergo the pain and suffering that invariably accompanies parting.
Both options are bad, and we offer you a third - do not put up, but change the relationship. And for this you no need to involve a partner. It doesn't take two to tango! One partner always changes relationships. How does this happen?
Something similar must have happened to you. The day is going well. Everything works out for you, you can easily cope with all the problems. Then you meet a partner, and from the very first minute he starts complaining about life. What happens to your high spirits? It immediately ceases to be excellent and falls below zero, right? But why? After all, nothing has changed! I answer: the partner launched a negative reaction in you, and your mood merged into the toilet.
The next minute you say, "I'm having such a great day. Why are you so negative?"
Your words make your partner react like this: “Yes, you just don’t understand how I feel. You have no idea how a person who has real problems feels!”
You say in response: "Why are you always dissatisfied with everything?"
What do you think happened? Nothing has changed in the world, it's just that your partner has pissed you off. Now you are exchanging "courtesies", with both of you participating in a skirmish. It all started wrong, but you quickly slipped into personal insults.
One of the partners always changes the relationship, pulling the trigger - we call it a trigger. People and circumstances, whether pleasant or unpleasant, cause us to feel and respond in certain ways.
Try to imagine how you would feel in each of the following situations. What emotions would it evoke in you?
- Your child comes home and says, "Today a boy from our class hit me and called me a fool."
- Your partner says, "I love you so much. Every day I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I can spend my days next to the best person on earth. Thank you for loving me."
- Your boss says: "You broke the record for performance! Everyone is in awe of your amazing results!"
Each statement evokes a different emotion. It is in this way that the behavior of one person causes a reaction that instantly changes your state. This happens every day and most of us don't even realize it.
Triggers are a very powerful force. But they can be used to bring out the best in a person, not the worst. You can stop pressing on your partner’s pain points and, on the contrary, bring out the best in him and help him improve and become himself. After you do this, you will learn how to keep the love and passion that you dream of.
So, in order to change relationships, you do not need the participation of a partner. You could even say that asking him to work on the relationship with you is not constructive. Why? To answer this question, consider an example.
A close friend says to you, "Listen, there's an event called 'Looking Better' next month! I'm definitely going, and I think you should go too. We both need it. I'm definitely going. Let's go together!"
What do you think when you hear from a friend that you both "need it"? In all likelihood, "What the hell?! Does she really want to say that I don't look very good and I need to do something about it? Let him go to hell!"
Well, or something like (with offense): "Oh God! I knew it! She always thought that I looked bad! All this time! I knew, I knew! I'm ugly! She just confirmed it!"
Here's the thing: when you ask a person to participate in something for the sake of improvement you mean now the situation not good enough. Worse, most people will interpret your words as if you directly told them that they are not good enough. In other words, by doing this you will either make a person defend himself or cause an inferiority complex in him - depending on the degree of his self-confidence.
Even if a partner agrees to your terms, this will be tantamount to admitting that he is not good enough. He may not realize it, but that's how you make him feel. That's why asking him to work on relationships is often harmful.
European civilized families, at the first sign of a slight whiff of a family crisis, march together to a psychologist. It is possible that such trips do not help every couple, but many have high hopes for family psychotherapists - he will allow them to talk heart to heart, and will not allow personalities and insults in the process of such a conversation. But this is all about them - Europeans, Americans, people of a different culture, for them it is not a shame to go to a psychologist, and it is not a pity for money. But most Russian families live according to the good old proverbs and sayings, so they are sure that “saving the drowning is the work of the drowning themselves” and “taking dirty linen out of the hut” is not worth it for everyone to see. We believe that discussing family conflicts in the presence of specially trained people is almost useless and even stupid. Well, in this case, armed with the theory of psychology, let's try to glue together the family bowl on our own.
1. Understand what to fix
Marriage rescue surgeries are especially loved by women. Selfless ladies rush to exploits for the return of their beloved to the family, by all means. In the meantime, the first action that would be wise to do is to find out if this very salvation of the marriage is necessary for the second half? If one of the couple has long decided for himself that there is nothing to save, and simply does not find the courage to report it? To tie a person who does not need it at all is violence. If your global views on life are completely different, if you do not agree on matters of religion, politics, raising children, organizing life or life values, but there is some kind of love chemistry between you, then even it will not save you from an inevitable break. Therefore, it is more logical to start any attempts to save a marriage with a frank conversation and making a mutually conscious decision that this very cracked marriage is worth the effort spent on its resuscitation. Can't decide? Take note of the psychological exercises that are widely used by family therapists. A sheet divided into two columns “for” and “against” marriage, and a projection of the future, when you have to imagine yourself and your family life in 5 years, will help here. Usually such simple exercises easily reveal the true deep desires and prospects for union.
2. Recognize the problem
Okay, we found out that the marriage bond is no longer so strong and both husband and wife need to save them. Now it would be worthwhile to decide on the problem, sore spots and cracks that need “operative” treatment: the husband’s bad habits, lack of attention, different outlooks on life or the sudden disappearance of sexual desire for each other - which of this list of problems is the true cause of the crack in family relationships? The deeper you delve into the sources of discord, the more likely you are to find what is causing the destruction and discord, and understand how to deal with it.
3. Arm yourself with theory
I wonder why family psychologists are so famously able to unravel the twisted tangles of problems? An innate talent, years of psychological practice, or some kind of secret instinct? No, any psychotherapist is armed to the teeth with theoretical knowledge about human behavior, about temperaments and the cyclical nature of crises in relationships. Arm yourself with theory and you may find answers to many questions clear for you. Your husband is silent all the time, in no hurry to express his feelings, delights and disappointments, and you conclude that he has grown cold, does not love, a callous, thick-skinned dork. Or maybe he is just an ordinary phlegmatic, calm, slow, but sincerely loving you? By the way, in the same way, the truth is revealed that people's relationships change over time, passion is replaced by a feeling of reliability, tender affection - and this is normal, and definitely not a reason for parting.
4. Start with yourself
So, problems are found, and their presence definitely does not suit you. Are you hungry for change, but are you unlikely to start with yourself? And it’s worth it, nevertheless, to start the changes with your loved one: stop being an emotionally dependent part of your couple, get rid of fears and resentments, find the strength in yourself to be a self-sufficient person who is able to respect the wishes and interests of a partner.
5. We put forward design requirements
If all the previous stages were successfully completed and did not bring any results, then you can proceed to a frank conversation with the second half. And start not with tantrums and ultimatums, but with constructive claims. After all, any, even the smallest female claim sometimes almost imperceptibly turns into an accusatory speech. For some reason, men don’t really like such speeches and they either prefer to keep silent defensively, or go on a tough attack and then a big quarrel cannot be avoided. And only then, it turns out that "I just wanted to ask to take out the trash." You can build a constructive conversation according to the “aquarium” principle - one speaks, the other at this time remains silent and digests what was said, and only after the partner’s sparkling speech speaks out himself, naturally also with the partner’s deathly silence. In order not to slip into monologues built solely on mutual reproaches, you can adopt another technique of psychologists - the technique of positive exchange: you are not speaking from a position " I don't like that you watch TV all evening after work, "and from the position" I like when we walk together in the evening or go to the cinema”.
In general, of course, any disease is better to prevent than to cure. So the best preventive measure against sick relationships, psychologists consider hugs to be such a kind of ascorbic acid for family immunity. Take 2 minutes a day and no “chill” is terrible for your relationship. You think it's rubbish? But it really does work!
How could it happen that your close-knit family is about to fall apart? What was the reason: betrayal, cooling of feelings, insurmountable everyday problems? And most importantly, how to save a falling apart marriage? Many couples are looking for answers to these questions, being on the verge of divorce. After reading this article, you will learn the opinion of family psychologists on how to save a marriage and avoid divorce.
Reasons for divorce
Unfortunately, Russia is one of the world leaders in the number of divorces. According to statistics, every second officially concluded marriage breaks up. There are many reasons for divorce.
The main ones are:
The reason for divorce can also be sexual dissatisfaction, the inability to have a child, separation, different interests and upbringing, and even passion for computer games and the Internet.
How to save a family?
It is difficult to determine which of the reasons becomes the starting point for the collapse of the marriage. Perhaps there are several such reasons. The answer to the question: “Is it worth saving a falling apart marriage?” each person can only give himself. But efforts to save him should be made by both spouses.
The initiative usually comes from the woman. It is no coincidence that she is called the keeper of the hearth.
Actions to save relationships must be thoughtful. Try to look at the situation from the outside, exclude screams, scandals, violent scenes to sort things out. Make an informed decision: to be or not to be your marriage union. If there is love, children, you have a lot in common, of course, such a family simply needs to be preserved. If she remains tired of unsuccessful relationships, life with her spouse becomes unbearable, then think: is it worth keeping such a marriage?
This terrible word: treason
The statistician claims that in the first place among the reasons for divorces or situations when a couple is on the verge of breaking up, there is betrayal. Cheating, oddly enough, is different: out of stupidity, under alcohol, due to the fact that a person is brought up this way and infidelity is not something immoral for him, because he fell in love, and so on. In any case, treason is insulting and painful.
Forgive your husband? Is it necessary to save a marriage after an infidelity has happened? Only the woman herself can answer these questions. Answer carefully and calmly.
The most important factors in favor of family preservation here are:
- the desire of the spouse to save the marriage;
- the presence of love and respect between partners;
- the willingness of a man to break off relations with his mistress and never renew them.
If you decide to save your marriage even after infidelity:
- Don't tell anyone about the change. Even your mom or best friend. The intervention of third parties will only aggravate the situation;
- Don't lock yourself in. If you are able to talk with your spouse on this topic, try to discuss it without scandals;
- Try to sincerely forgive. Don't pretend to forgive if you haven't. Better wait a while.
It all depends on the woman
At the end of the article, we repeat once again that the preservation of the family is the effort and work of two. And yet a woman must take the first step on this thorny path.
The tips here for women on how to save a marriage are not new, but by following them, you can avoid the most common mistakes and save relationships.
What women should not do if they want to save the family:
- Do not scold or criticize your husband in front of strangers, especially friends, relatives, parents. This will only cause anger and alienation.
- Do not criticize his relatives, especially his mother. It is better not to touch on the topic of bad relatives at all.
- Don't live on past hurts. You don’t need to remind you all the time that your husband is “terribly” to blame for you.
- Do not criticize the man's dignity and business qualities of the spouse. Don't compare him to other men, especially sexually. He will never forgive such criticism.
- Don't manipulate your husband. Attempts to evoke pity and sympathy with tears and pleas only irritate. Especially if children are involved in the process.
- Do not let your husband see you unkempt and untidy. Watch your appearance. You must be the most attractive.
- Don't lose interest in life. Find a hobby, read a book, get a new job. Let the husband see that next to him is a self-sufficient interesting woman.
- Do not leave children and household unattended. A good mother and a wonderful hostess - that's what your spouse will lose in the event of a divorce.
But remember that you should not save a relationship when there is no mutual respect in them, if coldness and rudeness follow all your efforts in response. If the husband suffers from alcoholism or uses drugs, and does not want to be treated.
If he raised his hand to you. The only way out for a woman in this case is to get a divorce as soon as possible and find her happiness with a worthy man.
Often couples who have lived together for some time are on the verge of divorce. What to do in such situations? We consider the principles of the correct behavior of men and women. Additionally, the advice of a psychologist is presented.
Family crises are experienced by every couple. For some, the reason for thinking about divorce is the eternal discontent of the husband / wife, for others - betrayal, for others - lack of attention, etc.
The most important thing for you now is to clearly identify the reason for your “collision”, to analyze the situation.
What was your relationship like before? Surprisingly good? So that you did not doubt the reliability of your marriage? Was there love between you, a spark? If you have something pleasant to remember, then perhaps you just need to endure and not stop fighting for your couple.
Important!
Keeping a family together is a constant job. There is no such thing that the beloved only in the first year recognized each other from all sides, and then everything goes on its own.
In any relationship, there are quarrels, disagreements, jealousy and other problems that may seem global to you.If you are sure that your friends do not have this, then take into account the fact that they simply do not want to wash dirty linen in public and flaunt their scandals and discontent with each other. So you are not alone in this regard. And first of all, stop feeling sorry for yourself, look at the situation from the outside.
So, if you are determined, let's move on!
What to do if the family is on the verge of divorce
All tips in this category are generic. They are designed to eliminate the most common family conflicts.
When she leaves
- Give her more attention. Joint walks, compliments and tenderness - all this and much more can significantly improve your situation. After all, if a woman hears the words of love, then she begins to feel real significance.
- talk more. Now take the position of the listener. Be sincerely interested in her affairs, opinion, etc. This is how you will get closer again.
- Make friends with her friends. But you need to do this thoughtfully so that your wife does not think that you are flirting. You can cheat by getting down to business right away: tell her best friend (and preferably several), about how painful it is for you to see such a relationship, how you love her and don’t want to lose her, etc. Rest assured that all this information will be shared with your wife soon!
- Try to give her what she wants. This is not about whims, but about the most serious problem. Understand the essence of her unwillingness to live with you, and then act in this direction. She lacks attention - give; your jealousy kills her - control yourself; she is tired of your bad habits - give up. Start trying, she will definitely appreciate it.
- Do not think that somewhere "the grass is greener". Let now you leave your spouse, find another man, time will pass, and romance will also disappear, everyday life, disagreements, etc. will appear. Is it worth wasting time and breaking fate?
- Start paying attention to its positive aspects. For example: let him earn little, but he is always ready to stand up for you, let him not be so good in bed, but he is gentle and attentive, etc.
- Analyze your behavior. Perhaps it is your fault that he behaves in a way that you do not like? For example, there are women who communicate very relaxedly with friends, and then are perplexed when the spouse does not control himself in fits of jealousy.
When he leaves
Important!
Never try to keep your spouse with lies, pregnancy, pity. These are the most ridiculous ways that later lead to irreversible divorces, suffering and spoiled destinies.
How to save a marriage. Lights of a psychologist
- Live your life without intermediaries. First of all, stop telling others what is wrong in your family. So you not only give a reason to discuss your problems to everyone who is not lazy, but also fall under an unconscious influence. How do you let your emotions out then? The best way is to direct all your energy into a serious conversation with your spouse. And then you will tell here, speak out there, and then, having come home, you no longer want to discuss this topic with your husband / wife - you have already splashed out all your emotions ... And so omissions accumulate.
- Don't listen to anyone. In any case, you will still fall under the influence of someone: parents, sister, friend, colleague, etc. Everyone will advise you something “extremely correct”. But they do not fully know how your family affairs really are. It is up to you to judge whether to make a certain decision or not. In addition, the world around us is full of envious people or simply those people whose opinions are very different in relation to family policy: for example, some love a strict order in the family, prefer to command, others - a constant change of events, they see nothing wrong in concessions to their beloved person, etc.
- stop. During the next scandal, calmly admit that you are tired of screaming and quarrels. And then just sit quietly. Surely, this will turn something in the head of the spouse.
- Start talking again. Although you have been living together for a long time, get to know each other again: ask something about childhood, find out details about work, friends, plans for the coming years, ask about dreams, opinions, etc. It will be very impressive if all this happens over a romantic dinner.
- Learn to compromise. Surely this is the most relevant decision when you are on the verge of a divorce. What if you often have situations where you want exactly that, and your chosen person is quite the opposite? The answer is simple: learn to think about how to find the middle option. There is also nothing wrong with making some concessions. This is one of the components of a good relationship in a couple.
- Learn to admit mistakes. Both are to blame for any disagreements: one said it wrong, the other understood it wrong, the first did not consider it necessary to restrain emotions, the second did not stint on offensive words, etc. Conduct introspection, and one day you will be able to nullify another quarrel.
- Get rid of household. Make time for yourself to relax together. A banal trip to an entertainment center or to the cinema will help you look at your soulmate in a slightly different way, not with a “hackneyed” look. And how many interesting things can you think of to get away from the ordinary for a while!
- Break up for a while. If your relationship is no longer good enough, do not rush to divorce. Try to live separately, relax from each other. And there is a possibility that after a certain time, new wonderful feelings will wake up in you for your husband / wife - a person who until recently was “extremely bad”.
Video: How to save a family