Greedy men: how to recognize them, what to talk about with them? Stinginess and greed
Greedy men are not uncommon in today's world. Sometimes the realization that the chosen one is "mean" comes to women late. How to recognize a "mean" in a man before starting a serious relationship? What is the difference between greed and economy? The information below will help you understand these issues.
The basis of behavior is laid in childhood. A man copies his father, grandfather, older brother, uncle, fully or partially adopting their negative and positive qualities. Also, a little boy remembers the attitude of his father towards his mother, and in the future he will use the same behavior model. If the father in some way deprived the mother, then the future man will do the same, since such behavior for him is the norm, instilled from childhood.
The stinginess and greed that manifests itself at an older age are due to the following reasons:
- Lack of money in the family. A man, accustomed from childhood to save on everything, constantly listening to censure from his parents about his wastefulness, is prone to stinginess. Moreover, it is not at all necessary that a greedy man will subsequently grow out of a little boy. Psychology notes that a person, having become accomplished and having achieved certain material benefits, can be generous, but at the same time economical.
- Financial well-being in the family. Boys, spoiled from childhood by rich parents and knowing that the "best piece" will certainly be given to them, are also prone to stinginess. In relationships with the opposite sex, such greedy men will be selfish. They will not spend money on their beloved, while they will not save on their own hobbies and desires.
- The greed of father and mother. Avaricious parents from childhood instill greed in a future man. Here, sooner or later, stinginess will manifest itself, even if the young man was not greedy before.
What is the difference between greed and economy
Some women do not share these two completely different concepts. It is believed that if a man saves on his beloved, then such a man is a “mealer”. The stereotype that has developed over the years is almost impossible to break. But it is worth knowing that there is a thin line between saving and greed, only breaking which, a man becomes stingy.
What is the human irresistible desire to possess money, things, feelings of other people in an amount that significantly exceeds the norm.
Saving means giving up something in favor of conserving resources. That is, an economical person does not waste, but he does not accumulate his savings in vain.
Greedy men differ from economical ones in that they try not to save themselves from expenses, but, on the contrary, to spend finances on themselves and their own desires, bypassing the desires of people close to them. An economical man will not disregard his beloved, even if he experiences some financial difficulties. Therefore, one should not confuse greed and economy, and one should not blame a young man for stinginess if, instead of a huge armful of roses, he presented you with a modest bouquet of wildflowers.
It is worth knowing that an economical man is an excellent candidate for husbands. With him, your family will not need, as he knows how to correctly plan expenses.
A greedy young man can never be a good husband. He will save not only on his beloved woman, but also on children.
first date
The first meeting with a man, according to many women, should be memorable. Flowers, a restaurant or a cafe, beautiful gestures, compliments - all this should be present. According to the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity, a man must impress, otherwise he simply will not be able to "hook" his chosen one.
On a first date, recognizing a greedy person is quite difficult, since the absence of flowers or money is far from an indicator of stinginess, but just a coincidence. Perhaps the man simply did not have time to buy flowers or forgot. However, greed can still be recognized by noting several nuances in the behavior of the chosen one.
Behavioral features of "mean" on the first date
Greedy men will never allow themselves to offer a lady an extra cup of coffee. And after a hint at her, a barely noticeable displeased grimace will twist. However, in the same way, with the exception of a grimace, inattentive or ill-mannered individuals can behave themselves.
In addition, a greedy man will not forget to casually or covertly mention that he does not have a lot of money. Almost any conversation will be translated on a financial topic. But there are nuances here: a self-respecting man will not discuss the lack of finances, even if he is "mean". The phrase “no money” will sound much later, when the relationship moves to a new level.
As practice shows, stingy representatives of the strong half of humanity at the first meeting with a lady, held in a cafe or restaurant, paying the bill, never leave a tip to the waiter.
Another important point worth paying attention to is how he looks at you while placing an order in a cafe. A frightened or heavy gaze indicates that your chosen one is a potential "mean".
What to do if you realize that your husband is a greedy person
It happens that after several years of marriage, a man turns out to be greedy. What to do in this case? The main thing is not to put pressure on him and make sure that this is really a manifestation of greed, and not economy.
Greed for money does not always manifest itself immediately, and sometimes a woman connects her life with a man, not paying attention to his shortcomings. His pettiness and desire to control the expenses of the chosen one go unnoticed exactly until the moment when she becomes dependent on him. That is, as soon as for some reason a woman is left without work, the greed of her husband becomes more noticeable.
In this case, the best help is the negotiating table. Try calling him for a constructive dialogue, or use the tips below.
Joint purchases
Going grocery shopping together is a great way to show your husband the real value of the goods. Some men, not knowing the price of a particular product, begin to slander their wives, accusing them of squandering. This causes a storm of negativity in women, and they, obeying an emotional impulse, call their husbands greedy.
What to talk about with a man at this time? Communicate with him on topics removed from finance, the main thing is that the information be positive.
Payment of bills
Calculate the family budget together. Do not take full responsibility for yourself, but do not shift all payments to him. A man should see you as a support, a reliable friend who will support him in any matters.
If the spouse relates to joint expenses without proper understanding, then in this case you can entrust him once to pay for the kindergarten, utilities, Internet services and other things. However, this must be done without any reproach, without provoking a scandal.
What to talk about with a man in this situation? For example, tell him that you do not have time to visit the bank to pay bills, and interest will be charged on outstanding debt. Emphasize that only he can help you here.
Joint rest
Perhaps your beloved man is simply tired of exhausting work, and he needs rest. Spend time with him, away from children and family problems. This will strengthen the relationship, and help to survive the crisis.
Praise is the best panacea for greed
Praise your man as often as possible, feel free to compliment him. He must feel love, he needs care.
A man needs understanding and a warm attitude no less than a woman. To overcome the first manifestations of greed, it should be treated with some superiority. Do not be afraid to slightly exaggerate its merits, and downplay its shortcomings.
A wife is an example for her husband
Be an example for your loved one, give him gifts, just like that, for no reason. Small pleasant surprises will not leave him indifferent. Do you want to make your man generous? Be generous to him.
Do not skimp on emotions, rejoice like a child, learn to understand his sense of humor. Remember that greed can be not only material, but also emotional.
Change yourself
If your character really has such a trait as extravagance, then try to get rid of it. Avoid unnecessary spending from the family budget, do not purchase unnecessary things that you can do without.
Do you love your man? Then get ready for the fact that you will have to adapt to it. Changes in behavior and character will help change not only the attitude towards you - it will also cause your partner to want to change.
Never compare
Do not mention other men when communicating with your husband, do not set them as an example - this will only aggravate the situation. Do not tell him that he is worse than others in some way. Your man for you should be unique, the best and the best.
What not to do
Psychologists do not advise directly expressing to a man that you suspect him of being greedy. It is necessary to bring him as gently as possible to discuss the problem, otherwise a scandal may break out.
In dealing with a man, at the first sign of greed, you can’t:
- insult and humiliate him;
- shouting, threatening divorce;
- start a conversation with children;
- force a man to agree with your opinion;
- blame her husband for his failure.
In addition, it is important to understand what caused the manifestation of greed.
Why did the husband become greedy?
This question is asked by women who first encountered an unpleasant character trait of their beloved spouse. The appearance of signs of greed is determined not only by previously hidden stinginess, upbringing, but also by the defiant behavior of the spouse, as well as other factors. Such as:
- accumulated unresolved problems in the family;
- sexual dissatisfaction;
- betrayal;
- heavy physical labor;
- lack of understanding on the part of the spouse, her aggressive nature.
Sometimes women themselves provoke such an attitude of a lover towards themselves. Demands for the purchase of expensive gifts, extravagance destroy harmonious relationships.
In what situations is the intervention of a specialist required?
It is necessary to turn to a family psychologist for help if such behavior has not been noted for the husband before. A critical manifestation of greed is saving not only on the wife, but also on the children, as well as on oneself.
It is worth knowing that pathological greed is equated with mental illness, and timely help to a loved one is a necessity.
After you once met a young man and realized that he is incredibly greedy, the choice is yours: be with him and accept him for who he is, or refuse to communicate with him. In any case, you need to listen to your own intuition and feelings - they will tell you whether you made the right choice.