Reasons for the greed of friends and acquaintances - why are people greedy?

Natalya Kaptsova

Reading time: 6 minutes

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Who are the greedy people? These are very boring and petty comrades with an obsession for "accumulation". And it doesn't matter if the miser is an unfamiliar gentleman with whom you "do not baptize children."

But if this stinger is your friend? What to do? Forgive, understand and accept? Or urgently remove his number from the phone and forget it, like a bad dream?

Greedy people - what they are: hallmarks of a greedy person

As you know, greed is one of the vices condemned by most world religions. And a rare person admits to it.

Greed tries to take everything from life. But, alas, he does not receive satisfaction because of his insatiability.

What is he - greedy? What are the symptoms of "disease"?

He does not give (or gives with demonstrative reluctance) in debt.
He crushes the last piece of "sweet" with a light soul.
There are branded items in his wardrobe, but at home he will go “in anything”. When meeting guests (which rarely happens) in an expensive shirt, he will not be ashamed to brew one tea bag for the 2nd time in a friend's cup.
He never throws out "old stuff" like an old refrigerator or grandma's chandelier. Hoarding is in his blood.
He always haggles in the markets and even in stores, never leaves a tip, and counts the change very carefully.
He is extremely jealous. The second half, in his opinion, is also his property.
Everything around is its potential rivals and competitors.
To more successful people, he always tests.
He loves shopping.
He takes care of his car, but saves on gas and travels by bus more often.
When handing a gift, he will definitely notice that it cost him a lot, or simply leave the price tag in a prominent place. However, waiting for a gift from him is a real miracle.
When paying for goods on his face - universal sorrow, as if he were giving the last.
He is constantly looking for ways to save money.
He will definitely time the wedding date for some holiday in order to save on gifts for his wife. Which, by the way, will give them to your liking (so that “it will be useful to everyone”).
Searching for discounts and sales is his favorite pastime. Even if he urgently needs a TV, he will wait until a promotion starts somewhere for this equipment. He makes most of his purchases in the first days of January, when stores massively drop prices for citizens who are temporarily “impoverished” after the holidays.
As soon as you leave the room for a couple of minutes, he is already flying there to turn off the light. And you can completely forget about “taking a bath”. Only a shower, and fast like an army! Counters indeed!
He is always dissatisfied with his life.

"He was a great housekeeper!"

It is important to distinguish greed from the simple desire to save due to life circumstances (or character).

economical friend he will also look for sales and maybe even brew tea for the 2nd time, but he will never leave a friend without a gift for the holiday, and the gift itself - with a price tag.

When communicating with a thrifty friend, you do not experience negative emotions , and from your tongue does not fly off involuntarily - "meaning!". On the contrary, you admire his ability to distribute money and save even where it is usually impossible.

Miser or miser?

It should be noted that these two concepts are also different. A stingy person saves on everything, including food. He will travel across the city to buy a kilo of fish for 10 rubles cheaper, and he will look for a new “mobile phone” via the Internet, because the price is always lower there.

But he will not save on gifts for a friend or beloved woman , and never "get off" with a box of chocolates for his birthday. At common friendly meetings, he will always contribute his share for the "banquet" and will not try to enter paradise on someone else's hump.

His stinginess extends only to him . Greed spreads to everyone around.

Reasons for the greed of friends and acquaintances - why are people greedy?

Usually, we become greedy not suddenly, but gradually . Moreover, since early childhood. It is rare when a person becomes greedy at an adult conscious age (habits are too strong).

As for the reasons for greed, there are not so many of them:

Self-doubt and obsessive desire for physical/psychological safety. Constant fears of life push the greedy to accumulation. Life is hostile and dangerous for him, so it is necessary to prepare for difficulties "today and now."
An example from childhood. The children's model of the family, as a rule, is automatically transferred to the adult lives of children. If dad or mom were greedy, the child does not consider greed to be unnatural.
Mom and dad did not teach the child to be generous and simply did not notice how he turned into a greedy person. This usually happens after the appearance of the 2nd baby in the family. The older child, left "on the sidelines of life", takes matters into his own hands - the lack of attention, toys and love brings up in him a person who begins to live for himself, in his own shell.
He grew up in a wealthy family. And from the cradle all the "wealth" mom and dad threw at his feet. He is not used to sharing, giving, giving. He is accustomed only to take and demand. And even his first word was “give!”.
He "sweat and blood" made his fortune , and sees a threat in everything that concerns his money.
Poverty in the past. Such life stages, when you have to save every penny, also do not pass without a trace. Some acquire the habit of living economically and within their means, while for others, saving develops into greed and pettiness out of fear that "one day everything will collapse again."
He just lives with plans for the future. An obsessive dream (or a clear goal) about a car (an apartment, a summer house, a trip, etc.) is more important than all his needs and the needs of his relatives and friends. The goal obscures a person's eyes, and everything except it becomes unimportant and empty.

How to deal with a greedy friend - understand, accept and forgive?

According to Chinese (yes, any other) philosophy, greedy is always unhappy . Simply because he is unable to be satisfied with today and is forever tormented by groundless fuss.

But the main question for the greedy friends remains - what to do? Completely break off relations so as not to feel constant resentment against a miserly friend, reconcile and accept a friend as they are, or try to re-educate him?

Certainly, if relationships are an unbearable burden , from which you want to get rid of, then there is no point in such a relationship, and you need to leave.

But still, even a greedy person is able to be responsive, interesting and devoted. Greed is not a sentence , and it is quite possible to cure it (or at least “relieve the aggravation”) with cunning, as well as understanding and love.

How to do it?

Be an example for a friend. Give him gifts, treat him to dinner, do not skimp on good deeds and words.
Treat the greed of a friend with a smile and through humor. Let him understand that you notice his greed, and you don’t like it, but you are not going to refuse a friend.
It makes sense to give a friend “lessons of greed” from time to time, mirroring his attitude towards you. Again, without malice and moralizing. Let him feel for himself how insulting it is to be a friend of the greedy.

And most importantly be yourself generous, merciful and generous . It is impossible to remain greedy when you are surrounded by kind and bright people, whose words and deeds come from the heart.

Have you had greedy friends in your life? And how did you build relationships with them? Share your stories in the comments below!