How to know if a man is cheating or not

In the article we will discuss non-verbal signs of a lie. I will tell you how a man's body during a conversation signals that he is trying to deceive you. You will learn how the posture, gestures, gaze and voice of a liar changes. By following my recommendations, you will learn to recognize lies and learn why it is important not to betray your suspicions right away.

Confidence is a necessary component of a strong union. Statistics show that men cheat almost twice as often as women. Trust or verify - the personal choice of each. Undoubtedly, being deceived is very unpleasant, so it is important to be able to recognize the markers of lies.

It also happens that trust is lost, but everything is fixable. For a strong and loving relationship is important.

What indirect signs will help to crack the liar? Firstly, these are non-verbal signals: posture, gestures, facial expressions, gaze. Secondly, this is the manner of speech: volume, timbre, and even the number and duration of pauses in the conversation. And thirdly, these are seemingly insignificant details of his story. Below we consider each item in more detail.

Learn his body language

The body of a liar involuntarily gives signals to others that the person is disingenuous.

• Pose. Pay attention to the position of the interlocutor. If a man is sitting, his arms and legs may be crossed, and the posture as a whole can be called closed. If you are talking standing up, then the person who is trying to deceive you tilts the body back a little.
• Movement. The upper body of the deceiver is most often tense and immobile, while the legs are actively moving. A man can twitch his leg, shake it - all this suggests that he is trying to deceive you.
• Gesticulation. When we emotionally describe something in a conversation, our hands involuntarily help us convey impressions through gestures. But a liar behaves differently, since it is impossible to indicate a lie with gestures.

The deceiver's hands are occupied with something else: the man pulls and scratches the tip of his nose, rubs his palms, straightens his hair, touches his face, covers his mouth with his palm.

• Sight. Usually people look into each other's eyes when talking. A person who wants to deceive you will avoid looking directly. Psychologists say that deceivers often look away to the left or up, blink more often or, on the contrary, do not blink at all and look very intently.

When a person lies, his pupils constrict. It's hard to notice, so don't stare hard into your partner's eyes. You will involuntarily give out your suspicions, and the man will understand on a non-verbal level that he should be more careful. If you want to see through a deceiver, watch him little by little.

• Smile. We all noticed how the eyes of a person who smiles sincerely and from the heart shine. But a cold look, raised corners of the lips, or, on the contrary, a too wide unnatural smile with a head betray a liar. In addition to a smile, nervous chuckles and insincere, simulated laughter will help to figure out the deceiver.

Pay attention to what and how he says

Even the most skillful speaker is not able to control his voice if he has to spontaneously, on the go, invent lies.

• Voice. When deceiving, a person always speaks louder than usual, and the timbre of his voice changes. The liar speaks more slowly than usual, drawing out words and distracting himself with a watch, a phone, or a sip of coffee in order to gain time and successfully get out.

• Confusion in testimony. Spontaneous lies are always forgotten very quickly. If you suspect that your partner is cheating on you, subtly ask for details in a conversation. In two days, the man will not remember what exactly he lied to. He will most likely get confused and give completely different information when you ask him back in a few days.

This tactic will only work if you lie spontaneously. If the partner has thought through all the details of his deception in advance, then he will repeat them in all subsequent conversations.

• Munchausen complex. If you notice that your partner often deceives you in small things, then he is also capable of big lies. Unless, of course, he suffers from mythomania, or the Munchausen complex.

People with this trait tend to regularly and enthusiastically distort facts and lie about even the most insignificant things. Moreover, they themselves sincerely believe in an alternative reality that they create with the help of lies.

• The topic of conversation. Spontaneous lies are always stressful. If you suspect that your partner is trying to deceive you, try changing the subject abruptly. A liar will gladly support such an initiative, just to distract himself from his own lies.

If a man tells the truth, he will be unpleasant that you spontaneously left the topic. In this case, the partner will try to return your attention to the subject of the conversation.

Don't give away your suspicions

Remember that you are not the only one watching the man. If a partner intentionally deceives you, he will unconsciously try to track your reaction to his words. Your task is not to betray your suspicions. Only in this case, you can find out if there are reasons not to trust a man.

Develop dialogue. If you realize that the man just lied, continue the conversation. Don't get hung up on lies and don't try to catch all the markers of deception at once. You will see much more if you can convince your partner that you did not notice the lie.

Don't interrogate or incriminate. A flurry of questions and attempts to catch the interlocutor in a lie will alert him and push him away. It is better to continue a friendly conversation, but notice and put aside the voiced inconsistencies in your memory. Later, you will be able to analyze the information and understand if there was a fraud.

Answers on questions

My husband constantly deceives me in trifles. Nothing serious, but these petty daily lies are terribly annoying.

Pay attention to how you find out about these lies. Perhaps there is excessive control over the husband, and with the help of such small minor deceptions he is trying to win at least some of his personal space.

If he is just a pathological liar, you have two options: accept and accept this feature or talk heart to heart. Perhaps a frank and intimate conversation will help your spouse understand how his behavior is interfering with your relationship.

I know for sure that the man lied to me, this is indicated by many facts and inconsistencies in his stories. I tried to discuss the situation, to which he refuses, says that I have paranoia and even takes offense with the words “How can you not trust me?”. How can I get him to confess to cheating?

By accusing you of excessive suspiciousness and expressing resentment at your distrust, a man manipulates you. He tries to steer the conversation in a different direction by making you feel guilty for daring to suspect him of lying.

Calmly say that you have nothing to feel guilty about, but you have facts that directly point to deception. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to negotiate with a manipulator. Therefore, if a partner cheated on you and got away with it, be prepared for the fact that the lie will be repeated more than once.

In the family, I distribute expenses and control income. Previously, my husband's salary came to the card, and I could track the amounts through Internet banking, and at his new job he is paid in cash. For several months now, he has been giving away an amount much less than he was promised during employment. When I ask where the rest of the salary is, he claims that he gave me everything, but I feel some omissions. How to bring it to clean water?

Either he really is paid less than promised, or he withholds part of the salary. In the first case, you can ask him to show the payslip. If he refuses, this may indicate that he keeps part of the money. Two scenarios are possible here: he either secretly saves money (which, in general, is normal - to want to manage his finances), or he spends this money on something.

Pay attention to the behavior of your husband. Do you know where and with whom he spends time? Try to find out what or on whom he spends part of his salary. As a rule, women's intuition allows you to very subtly feel changes in your partner's behavior. Trust yourself. If you suspect deception, talk heart to heart with your husband and pay attention to the lie markers in the conversation.

Watch this video from practical psychologist Nadezhda Mayer. Hope will tell you how to survive the betrayal of a loved one. Learn how to behave if you decide to forgive a man and save the relationship.

What to remember

1. The liar's posture can be described as "closed".
2. The deceiver's hands touch the face, hair, pull or scratch the tip of the nose, and cover the mouth.
3. When a person lies, he looks to the left or up, blinks too often, or, conversely, does not blink at all and stares into the eyes.
4. A crooked smile, nervous chuckles and mock laughter are clear markers of a lie.
5. When deceiving, people speak louder and slower than usual.
6. If, after asking a question, a man is distracted by the phone, watch, asks again - this is an obvious "symptom" of deception.
7. Notice the details - in a couple of days the deceiver will give completely different information.
8. A flurry of questions and attempts to instantly catch a man in a lie will alert him and scare him away. You will learn much more if you can convince your partner that you did not notice the deception.